Before the Disco Ball Lowers and the Sequins Start Shimmying: A Preview of Dancing With the Stars Season 8

Lower the disco ball, uncover the vat of spray tan, and ready those score cards. It's time for Dancing with the Stars! Welcome to the ballroom, where sequins and neon are the new diamonds and black, and where the goal is not a million bucks, a gold medal, or a record deal. And therein lies the pearl of this oyster.

The stars might sign on to this show for selfish reasons — to get back in front of the camera during prime time, to build public support after messy legal proceedings or substance abuse struggles, to promote a new album, reality show, or autobiography, or to dance off some extra pounds caused by retiring from professional sports or having a baby — but the ones who find themselves still alive in the competition after two or three weeks realize they're getting a lot more than they expected. So every season, we the viewers get to watch these transformations — from offensive lineman to quickstepping king, from aged comedienne to tango goddess, from pop singer to paso doble diva. It's inspiring every single time to see these people, who are really just as average as us when it comes to dance, try something new and surprisingly challenging, and become a star.

ABC is promoting this season as the one where "love is a battlefield," as three real-life couples (and one messily divorced one) throw down on the dance floor. Pish-tosh. Pros Karina and Maks were a couple last season, too, and what about long-time lovers Jonathan and Anna and Edyta and Alec? PUH-lenty of the pro/star pairings have led to show-mances (Derek Hough and Shannon Elizabeth, Mark Ballas and Sabrina Bryan, and Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff, just to name a few). Let's face it: dancing, with all its touchy-feely maneuvers and hot and sweaty activity, makes you horny, baby!

Romantic pairings aside, this season promises some spark, as always. Here's a faithful DWTS blogger's predictions for this season's partners. 

Li'l Kim and Derek Hough: The previous season's pro winner and runner-up are usually given handicap partners to prevent back-to-back victories (think Karina getting Billy Ray Cyrus after being paired with Mario Lopez or Edyta dancing with/around Jeffrey Ross after making it to the finals with Jason Taylor). This isn't always true of course, as both Cheryl and Hough's sister Julianne have both won back-to-back titles. Li'l Kim could go in the way of Mel B., using her stage confidence and natural rhythm to give the choreography her own hip-hop flair, or it could be more like R&B star Mario, who never succeeded in translating popping and locking to floating and gliding. I'm guessing the latter. 

Article Author: Kimberly Mauck

Kimberly Mauck writes travel and restaurant features for Oklahoma Today, teaches composition to college freshmen, blogs about her family, and often sheds blood, sweat, and tears working on her first novel, a young adult fantasy.

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