The opening 30 minutes of Ninja Death II are nothing more than a quick overview of the first film, giving those who are unfamiliar with the storyline a chance to sink into the action with a bare minimum of head scratching. Of course, the plot soon twists itself into a tasteless food court pretzel, forcing those who weren't paying close attention to ponder aloud the sudden appearance of several new characters. And just when things are starting to really pick up, the film ends abruptly with the same silly sequence used to wrap up the first installment. It's lame, yes, but at least the anonymous filmmakers didn't expect you to swallow the whole thing in one sitting. How impossibly selfless and considerate!
In terms of unstoppable action, Ninja Death II is surprisingly tame. There are a few interesting confrontations, I suppose, but nothing that equals the hilarity contained inside the first chapter of the series. You will, however, be subjected to creepy erotic encounters, the forced deflowering of a homely virgin, and lots of lingering shots of our hero's sweaty man-chest. If that sounds like an evening of family fun to you, by all means, have at it. Personally, the lack of outrageous action and quotable dialogue left me a tad disappointed. Here's hoping the insanity increases considerably in Ninja Death III. At this point, there's really nowhere to go but up.
Ninja Death II isn't exactly the mind-blowing kung fu experience I was hoping it would be. The fight sequences are few and far between, the 30-minute flashback is a drag, and the uncomfortable sexual encounters are entirely pointless in the grand scheme of things. To be fair, Ninja Death did set the bar kind of high, leaving this puny sequel to languish in the realm of shattered expectations. If the Gods are accepting my poorly-worded prayer requests, Ninja Death III will return the franchise to its rightful place in the kooky kung fu universe. As it stands, I'm a little apprehensive about continuing my adventures with the childlike martial arts hero they call Tiger.
I just hope he doesn't rape me in my sleep.
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