Another Day, Another Terror

Phew!

24, the only show I watch nowadays, has officially been renewed for next season. So to all of you who graciously offered to buy my television — GET LOST! Besides, I still need it for DVD's.

Idiots.

But back to the Bauer report. Despite doubt on the part of some (they're forgiven), the lead agent at the Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit will be back for at least one more day of hell. What that hell will entail is anyone's guess.

Nuclear devices, heads of state in peril and biological weapons are out. Maybe the writers could do something where Jack has to save the world from the glut of stupid, crappy-assed reality programs that are taking over people's brains.

Nah. That would be too much like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Kiefer Sutherland's pop already did that one.

Let's recount what Jack has had to deal with over the past three seasons:

1) He tried to prevent the assassination of the U.S. President while simultaneously rescuing his wayward daughter from some slimeball — who's seemingly wrapped up in the assassination thing. He sort of succeeded.

2) He tried to prevent a nuclear bomb from literally turning Los Angeles into the city of angels while simultaneously rescuing his wayward daughter from several slimeballs — who had nothing to do with an assassination attempt on the U.S. President. He sort of succeeded.

3) He's trying to prevent the mother of all bugs from being released by some nutjob while not having to worry about his formerly wayward daughter because he has her locked up at his headquarters. I'd like to be deliberately ambiguous and say he sort of succeeded, but this one still has five hours to go.

And thanks to what little common sense that Fox has left, 24 will see Day Four. There's no telling what crisis will come about to keep the sleep-deprived folks at C.T.U. busy.

That's not the only mystery. In keeping with the unpredictability of the show, there's no guarantee that Jack himself will be back. For all we know, he could end up in a body bag before this season is done.

But then again, he IS the show. You wouldn't watch a British secret agent movie without James Bond, now would you?

Well... Would you?

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