American Idol Week 8: Even More Re-runs, Phone-Ins and Pretty Good Stuff

For forever now, I've been calling the American Idol themeless theme week of two weeks ago a bad night on the Donny & Marie Variety Show, and, wouldn't you know it, tonight the AI powers-that-be actually did go so far as to do "a little bit country, a little bit rock 'n roll."Thank you very much.While the show opened with an extended lovefest for the beleaguered Paula, not even Nashville, nor the very impressive catalogue of Gamble and Huff (who were in the house!), was enough to truly brighten up the program.Carrie came out first with a Dixie Chicks tune, "Sin Wagon." In AI3, Amy Adams laid down a "Sin Wagon" that makes Carrie's version look like just a sin. I mean, it was the one Amy Adams performance that really soared, and big-time. Nevertheless, Amy got canned the next night.I don't think that Carrie's lively wagoneering will garner her the same fate. But I also think Carrie's performance highlighted some of the weak points we've spotted her for before: primarily her singing diction, limited inflection, and mostly auto-pilot delivery.On the other hand, as Simon said, Carrie did show some personality---which was a relief---and she even let loose with a little Texas two-stepping on one of the interludes.But then she also let loose with that totally "Totally Spies"-sounding "uh, yeah-ah," when Ryan asked her if she really wanted to win. I agree it was a dumb question, but that doesn't mean we need to revive Valley Girl to answer it.After a tearful tribute to sisterly love, Carrie's second feature was the poetic "If You Don't Know Me By Now." While Simon blamed the band for the arrangement (which can only be described as labyrinthine), Carrie made things worse by doing everything that she does badly badly.For example, I've said before that Carrie is one of the few artists who may unintentionally, but regularly sing her own mondegreens.Tonight, however, I could not even make out her mondegreens. She marched through the measures in lackluster lockstep, with her lyrics sounding like Dori speaking "whale" in Finding Nemo. And the words that could be understood (somewhat) came across as though she was delivering a bad translation from the Japanese (sort of an "all your bases are belong to us" phenomenon).It didn't work, and Randy, Paula and Simon agreed that it didn't work. One step forward, two steps back for Carrie.Bo, along with his imaginary friend, Mike the Mic Stand, was up next with "It's A Great Day to be Alive." And, under all the circumstances, you have to get a kick out of the lyrics to this song:I got rice cooking in the microwaveGot a three day beard I don't plan to shaveAnd it's a goofy thing but I just gotta sayHey, I'm doing alright [ai-ite?]Yeah, I think I'll make me some homemade soupFeelin' pretty good and that's the truthIt's neither drink nor drug-inducedNo, I'm just doin' alrightYep, he's doing alright and he did have at least a three-day beard. Looking very handsome indeed in a heartfelt tribute to mom and dad, Bo did a phoned-in rendition of this Travis Tritt tune. His attempts at singing introspectively came off as lame, which is a shame because he seems like a guy who, you know, does have feelings.While we kind of started having feelings on his broad-voiced "great day to be alive" hook, overall it was an uninspired performance. Or, as Simon said after I'd already made my notes, "lazy and uninspired."I imagine it's not easy to sing about microwaving and stuff, but still.The only thing that released the snoozebar on this performance was the Granny sighting in the audience, where the little ole lady from Helena, Alabama looked like she was ready to Bust Some Serious Butt if she needed to. If you missed it, just think Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies in a major high snit.All was not lost for Bo, however. He came out next with "For the Love of Money" and he took this O'Jay standard, including a raucously smooth uptempo change, to growl-ly, groovin' heights. To be sure, it was impossible to understand Bo's lyrics also, but, in this case, it didn't matter. Sorry, Carrie, life is not fair.This stream of baritone-friendly pop music, mixed in with some Barry White done with a rock gloss, this is where Bo needs to drop his line. The house absolutely roared and roared again when Bo reached the finish. About all the judges could do was nod in amazed agreement.(BTW, if, as it seems to me, Bo grew that entire beard in one week, he seriously needs to subjected to scientific inquiry by those guys at the Hair Club for Men.)I hate to even critique Vonzell tonight because, as Paula made sure to pimp for all it's worth, she apparently has some sort of personal problem or heartache going on in her life. But, unfortunately, the show must go on and so must the musings. But, Baby V, just know we love you.That said, V's rendition of Trisha Yearwood's "How Do I Live" was pitchy and all over the map. I even liked Carmen Rasmussen's version (AI2) better and, well, that was pretty much painting by the numbers. Vonzell wasn't even able to wrench any drama out of this song's quite dramatic key changes. And, until the end, she replaced her usual over-singing with a very unsettling under-singing.She finished, however, with her usual Whitney-esque power vocals that got the audience juiced. But it wasn't enough.Her second feature, "Don't Leave Me this Way," was miles better, but still evidenced all the things I have often found lacking in Vonzell's performances.First, the song was primarily in her lower register and that's when her voice becomes the bottomless pit. And once again she failed to build the song until---like jumping up with an "oh, wow, here's my station!---she rocked the "bay-aaaayyy-bee" chorus. For that, she was saluted by a properly dressed John Stevens in the audience. Shout-out to Jasmine Trias, too!Anyway, it's hard to judge Vonzell tonight because she apparently was under some kind of emotional stress. Paula, probably in an effort to let the world know they should cut Baby V some slack if her performance wasn't up to speed, probably made things worse by initiating that vague, personal conversation on national television. Well, I just don't want to pile on, that's all. But the fact is that Vonzell's performances were neither much worse, nor much better than usual.Now, Anthony, the "Ukrainian Cowboy." A denim-decked blonde one, he came out with "I'm Already There," a song done by Josh Gracin in AI2. (Does AI never update their song lists? This was the third song tonight performed by previous finalists.)Anthony's voice was clear and cool. As always, he made every key change into enough drama to fill a soap opera. He reached some beautifully pure high notes. Most of all, he sang this song like it was a gift and that's not bad.Simon, who has never been able to countenance anything the least bit touchy-feeling, ragged on about how treacly it all was getting---you know, the tearful video clips, the tributes to home and hearth, Anthony's ever-present theme of how grateful he is to be an American. But, really, Simon's discomfort was just a clue that Anthony's performance had a passion that was tangible.Anthony's second tune, "If You Don't Know Me By Now," which had just been sung by Carrie, started in a high key. So high I was not sure Anthony would pull it off. But he did.He laid down a version that was brimming with heart-wringing and soul-searching and one-person debates. He told a story and he told it well. A story of a man who loved and lost and who hurt. Who hurt bad. And that's good, because, pack your bags, this song was meant to take us there.Not only was Anthony's heart and soul completely pervading his performance, guess what, unlike Carrie's rendition, when Anthony sang this song, we actually could understand the lyrics. And he's Ukrainian, for Pete's sake!Simon groused that Anthony lacked soul, a comment for which he was rightly slapped upside the head by the boo-birds in the house. Note to Simon: if you want to hear a rendition that lacks soul, fast rewind to Carrie's second performance, please.It's a toss-up between Baby V and Anthony getting tossed tomorrow. Vonzell may garner a large sympathy vote, while Anthony has been gaining momentum for a few weeks now. On the other hand, Anthony has been in the B3 like every five minutes for the past one hundred years, so the law of probabilities points to him.But you never know. See you after the game.

Article Author: Sticker

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