The American Idol Week 4 results show opened with a dapper Ryan Seacrest announcing yet another voting record: 32.5 million votes cast.
But what I really want to know is the differentials between the contestants. For example, did Anthony/Nadia/Anwar escape the bottom three by a mile or by one vote? The slimmer the margin, the more pure chance determines who stays and who goes. And . . . No. Stop. Desist. If I discuss the science of statistics in the same sentence with American Idol, this blog will explode.
Anyway, Nikko, Vonzell and Scott comprised this week’s bottom three. Only Vonzell surprised me.
Scott probably lost some ground based on the Problem That Will Not Be Named. After all, American Idol is one of the few venues in pop music where street cred doesn’t enhance your image or your chances of winning. Also, let’s face it: it helps if you look more like an angel when trying to maintain your likeability in the face of an unflattering dust-up with the mother of your child.
So, Nikko got nixed and that’s that. On to the next round.
In the meantime, we got treated to:
A bold and bald-headed, but very snazzy (yes, almost to the point of sexy) Velvet Teddybear. Ruben Studdard was in the audience, no doubt at Fox‘s request, the better to flack their newest dumb-laughs show by remarking on Rube’s sitcom debut as a mall food court worker. Okay, the ubiquitous Kimberly Caldwell shows up, too. Who woulda thought.
Fantasia, attractive and energetic---to use her oddly incongruous injunction that people should go on stage and “act ugly”----came out acting, well, ugly, which I infer means taking a song like “Believe” and multiplying every note times ten, while rupturing a few bronchi and being sure to get in at least 59 “yeah, yeah, yeah’s” per minute. Not since the Beatles turned the phrase into a generation’s reply to “she loves you” has “yeah, yeah, yeah” served such an important function in our national life.
I’m sure you had to be there.
Last but not least, Ford finally got something right with the idols performing “Everybody Got Their Something” while vamping for the cam and driving around in cutesy cars. Shoot, that‘s the song that should be released as the idols’ single for charity, not that other thing that sounded like the Monkey House at Busch Gardens at feeding time.