Then suddenly, the bagpipes were playing again and the musical elf made his grand entrance. All decked out in a black turtleneck and jacket, Clay resembled Diane Keaton minus the eyeglasses. He has come back to dish us a deck of SOLITAIRE! This season, Clay-doh brought the song down to Earth a bit and it was fantastic. He actually held a note so long that he coughed up a white fleece furball! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! I thought you were playing Solitaire, Clay!!!!!!!! When he finished his song I was very pleased indeed. He certainly one-upped the returning runner-up's song from last season - - do you people remember Justin Guarini's "I Saw Your Face" performance??????? ROFLMAO!
Clay pulled the results out of the pot of gold sitting on the stage and handed it over to Seatriscuit. It is time to cut one of the finalists out of the picture..........
[Bagpipes start to play]
Diana - You looked like the Cowardly Lion last night, but unlike him, you got a whole lotta courage in that cute little smile of yours. Let's hope you come back next week and touch Simon as he has requested - because you, my dear, are safe!!! Diana leans over and picks up her Holly Hobby lunch pale and snickers at all of the others. She then winked at the camera and screamed, "he he - boys are smelly."
LaToya - You are the D-VAH we have been needing since Whitney Houston first wowed us twenty years ago. If you stay away from the Coke Red Room, you might not go straight to rehab the way she did. You too are safe!!!! LaToya sits back silently and asks me if he digs her new butterfly shirt. Oh how she makes me flutter.
Jon Peter Potatogeist - Where do we begin with you Jon Jon??? You scare the living daylights out of little kids. You seem like an ordinary potato-pickin' Idaho boy until you pick up a microphone. Then suddenly, that Poltergeist girl named Carol Ann runs out from your mouth and into the light, while many of us at home are shivering with the creeps. To make matters worse, my cousin had a baby two weeks ago and she was sucked into your trance - thanks to the post partum depression. And now, I have to suffer with this affliction in my own family!!!!!! Ugh, why do you get to stay???????????
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