If you ever happen to take a moment to look over the profiles of the finalists on the official American Idol page you might be struck by the same thing I was. An awful lot of the contestants mention God rather prominently and most plan to thank God if they happen to win. Not a single one of them wants to thank America, the ingrates. No wonder that family wanted Simon Cowell to go back to French.
Melinda Doolittle and Haley Scarnato mention God repeatedly. Jordin Sparks and Chris Sligh were a bit lower key about it, but have made their beliefs clear in other ways. This led me to ask what role God really plays in the show.
It does make sense to me; God’s second commandment is “Thou shalt not worship false idols,” so he/she clearly has a strong interest in helping to ensure that America picks the right one. It did strike me as a bit odd that Chris Sligh, who also serves as a youth minister and whose preferred musical genre is “Christian Rock”, got voted off the show before, say, Sanjaya Malakar singing about “Bathwater.” I mean if God has so much to say about the outcomes each Wednesday, what was up with that?
I was a little shocked to start getting text messages not from Gabriel, but from God himself.
God: So Gabriel sent me your shout out from his Myspace page and for now I have you on my friends list.
(I dropped to my knees immediately and began confessing.)
CL: I really shouldn’t have lied about where I was that night. I was young, but it was still wrong…
God: You want to confess, go to church or something. I thought you wanted to talk about American Idol.
CL: Sorry, I’m pretty bewildered here. Text messages, Myspace? What happened to the burning bush and hearing voices?
God: Al Gore helped us with something called Ether-Mail back when he invented the Internet. It keeps an Akashik record. I can send messages to multiple people. You wouldn’t believe some of the confusion we had with the old system. Look at what happened to Lot’s wife. No way that had to happen. Lot just didn’t believe it was really me and as I think about it, who can blame him? So many things I might have done differently. I mean I probably didn’t have to torture Job for 720 years just to win a bet with Satan. A hundred and seventy-five would have been plenty. You realize that after I restored everything to him threefold all the warranties had expired and the community property laws had changed?
Article comments
1 - lallie
Awesome. Thanks for the "reality" check.
2 - Jewels
I'm so pleased God visited with you, indeed he selected an excellent messenger for the Idol fans! True, His observations on Sanjaya, and yes, Haley is one of the more beautiful models of his creation.
Even though Sligh did stumble, I imagine the Lord will forgive his transgressions and continue to bless him in his musical career (unless his pretty wife is all he's due to receive).
Much Love,
"Sunny"
P.S. Heaven knows, I always knew God was pulling for Taylor Hicks.
3 - chancelucky
Thanks for the kind comments. I did mean to ask God what kind of television he/she was watching the show on. I was thinking that they have something better than HDTV and was sort of wondering if it made sense to upgrade now or later.