American Idol Gives Me the Fiji-Jeebies - Page 3

Randy said he did not like it. Paula said she liked the old you. WHATEVER PAULA - - you keep telling this guy to infuse the pop! He only did what you asked him to do. Simon said you were different. I say, here's a trick you can pull out of your suit - make yourself disappear and don't show up on my T.V. ever again.

6. TIARA PURIFOY - "I Wanna Dance With Somebody"

I wanna slap somebody!!!!!! That's right! I am sick to death of Whitney Houston songs. What special kind of stupid person picks a song from a singer that brings such a mental image as Whitney. YOU JUST DON'T DO IT! I know, I know, some people do it and pull it off. However, this is a time to be unique and to grab the audience. We are sick to death of the monotony. Tiara dahling, if you make it to the next round, try singing an old ballad by Tesla - it might do ya some good to blow us away.

Tiara is wearing her silver satin jacket. She comes onstage twisting her leg around like a little girl who has to pee. This cheese head was all over the place with this song. I did not know whether to dance or have a seizure. I pray for the clock to strike upon the hour so this night begins to fade.

Randy said your modulation was ridiculous. Paula said you were one of the top two. WHAT IN THE WORLD??????? Top two of what, Paula????? Bad Whitney Houston impersonators?????? Simon said you were a complete mess. I say, Amen Simon. You know a bad crackpot when you see it.

5. JASMINE TRIAS - "Run To You"

UGH! Will this little Hawaiian flower image ever cease????? I guess not, and neither will the Whitney rejects! Jasmine is the last of the Hawaiian imports. At least I hope (especially after King Kamehameha's hodrrifying performance last week).

Jasmine starts out singing this Whitney tune alright. She was a runnin' and a runnin' so well I actually thought she was going to pull it off. Then, just like all of those stories about the Hawaiian vacations from Hell, her performance started spinning like a helicopter out of control. Americans at home were slammed into the side of Mauna Loa.

Randy said you had potential. Paula said you took us on some twists and turns. Yeah Paula - you forgot to mention the crash!!! Simon said you were good enough for him. Tell me, WILL YOU STAY OR WILL YOU RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I pray for the latter)

Article Author: The Raging Critic

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