"Oooopsies," said the wolf, "I meant to say that my big teeth are so big that there ain't nothing better to eat you with, my dear." Little Red Riding Opie shrieked with horror.
"Go ahead and eat me then!"
Seacrest tore off the grandma costume and then tore off the wolf costume. He opened his mouth, tipped back the stage, and devoured Little Red Riding Opie and spit him out into the mailbox and shipped his remains back to Mayberry via Federal Express. It cost $4.95 to be exact> I know this because I offered to pay the postage. All of America cheered, except for those who suffer the ill effects of brain damage. But hey, sh!t happens, even in the land of make-believe.
....and America lived happily ever after!
Moral #1: Be sure to select a song that compliments your voice, unless you are purposefully trying to get yourself voted off the show. That is what I think John Stevens did this week, and I thank him for it. I know you do too, unless you are on the waiting list for a lobotomy at Cedars-Sinai this week!
Moral #2: 4 million Americans are brain damaged!
CU Next Tuesday!
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