8:47--That annoying chick from earlier in the year, who pawned her wedding ring to get the money to go to the audition. If my memory serves me right, she told us "If I can't expreess myself by singing, I'll die." Then sing in the shower, honey. You can sing anywhere, ya nutjob. Go express yourself in your car on the way to work. Christ, some of the people are maniacal.
8:50--Cheese curls. Check. Beer. Check. 2 inch TV. Unfortunately, check. How long is this Stuart Little movie gonna take? My little guy is burning the candle at both ends between daycare in the morning and movies at night. He's gonna burn out by the time he hits first grade.
8:55--Bathroom break. Luckily, I'd have time to remove my colon before the show gets through the commercials.
8:57--Back in time for this atrocious version of The Star Spangled Banner, or is it The Star "Mangled" Banner? Bad joke. Sorry. My batteries die in the middle of the song. Beautiful karma. Need to get some new batteries.
9:00--Batteries are in, just in time for more brutal live singing, followed by Carrie and Bo getting new cars. Fords, perhaps? I can't imagine they'd do anything like that. Then the obligatory faux surprise, with the cheesy, "Does anybody want to go for a ride?" from Bo. Yawn.
9:05--These bios of Carrie and Bo are fluff, for sure, but they do both seem to be genuinely decent people. Its nice to see that the people picked 2 well put together singers, instead of Scott Savol and some other asshole.
9:10--The crappy audition recaps. Everyone loves this shit. A top ten list to boot? Priceless. How did they leave out that chick who sang "I Feel The Earth Move"? and then said her performance was "not too shabby"? A total injustice. I thought she'd be No. 1.
9:15--Catching back up with those 2 nerds from the early auditions...and a suprise appearance by David Hasselhoff. Oh how his stock has fallen. Even Germans are rolling their eyes.
9:25--A lighthearted spoof on the ABC Primetime story about Paula Abdul banging Corey Clark. Not very funny, and anyone who may have been screwed by Corey Clark's alleged preferential treatment is definitely not laughing.
Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
thanks so much Matt, excellent job!