The American Idol train chugged into the last station before the finale tonight and Bo Bice left in the driver's seat.Ryan Seacrest started things off by proclaiming how incredibly close the vote was for the three finalists---according to him, only a 1% margin---but somehow, at least by the closing bell, all that seemed irrelevant.The theme this week was Brunswick Stew---a little bit of this, a little bit of that---songs chosen by the heralding-trumpet-inducing Clive Davis, by the contestants, and by one of the judges---and a few times you had that undeniable feeling that there were too many cooks in the kitchen. But overall the show delivered on allowing the contestants to strut their stuff. Or not.Vonzell, clearly the one with the most to lose tonight, needed to have one of her strongest nights and didn't. Of course, it didn't help that Clive Davis chose that potato chunk of a song, Dionne Warwick's "I'll Never Love This Way Again," for her to sing.It was a big, fat slice of cliche on Baby V, but she managed to sugar it up with a sweet flavor nonetheless. However, now I know why Vonz mostly oversings: when she doesn't, she has trouble going all wobbly on us. When she did power up, she took the hooks "I know . . ." and "hold on . . ." to impressive heights, ending with a nice minor coda.But none of the judges really liked it, and Mr. Davis babbled on about how it was inappropriate for Vonzell to have smiled during a song about great love lost, etc.Actually, I know what Clive means, but somehow it seemed inappropriate for him to pick out that inappropriateness to comment on. You catch my drift.Vonzell's second selection was Aretha Franklin's "Chain of Fools." Though this song is truly omnipresent in Idol-land, who could ever tire of hearing it? I mean, it's Aretha; it's not like it's "Up With People" or "Red, Red Wine" or whatever.The Vonz glossed "Chain" with some funky, growly, giggly grooves and a new sassiness---for which, thank you, very much, she was promptly rapped on the knuckles by Mr. Davis, who found her rendition too "pop-spirited" and devoid of its "soulful essence."Please. Never forget that, for all his A-list artist accomplishments, Mr. Davis also produced Justin Guarini's self-titled debut disc.Baby V closed her set with the Simon-picked tune, "On the Radio," a Donna Summers thin spoonful-of-gravy classic. It was one of the few times when we've heard Vonzell sing in her lower register without her voice bottoming out into The Abyss-like nothingness. Still, although the judges gave her polite praise, she didn't wow.Then there was Carrie. Carrie, Carrie, Carrie.Maybe it was jet lag. Maybe it was Ryan incongruously calling her "Farm Girl" during her first introduction (for grins, ask Kathy Griffin about Ryan and "incongruous-ness"). Whatever it was, Carrie wasn't totally on her game tonight.She came out with the Clive Davis pick, the Roy Orbison tune, "Crying." Which entails a lot of "crying." And more "crying." In fact, it has a chorus that consists of "crying! crying! crying! CRYYYY-ING!"Ahh oooh, about now the audience is tempted to start howling at the moon. The fact is, however, that Carrie did some very nice "crying" in this song---which was important because, as I mentioned, the song has A LOT of "crying" in it---and she did a nice job layering some twang and country crackling over it to boot.And there's nothing like crying and twang and country crackling all thrown together in a tumultuous blonde woman. You get that going and pretty soon you've got a grown man lamenting (as Bubba once said to Sheriff Gillespie in the tv drama, The Heat of The Night), "Chief, that woman's gonna make a fool out of me."When next on deck, Carrie brought out "Making Love Out of Nothing At All," a hit for Air Supply and, gee, none other than Mr. Clive Davis. Sounding alternately like herself, Kim "Betty Davis Eyes" Carnes and Lee Ann Rimes, she marched to her inner metronome---right. through. the. lyrics.---until most of them sounded like "do-da-dabbly-do" or maybe various translations of "Scooby-scooby-doo."Although the judges said she sang with conviction and sincerity, I certainly missed it. I think the house missed it, too. Check the tape and I believe you'll find that the house reaction was surprisingly subdued.Then, poor Carrie got stuck with the worst song of the night, maybe one of the worst songs---in terms of a singing competition---of all time. Okay, it was cute on Shania Twain---but what isn't? And I guess it could've been worse, like maybe "Beauty School Drop-Out" or "Let's Get Physical" or "My Baby Takes the Morning Train (and, oh really, "then he comes home a-gain!").But "Man, I Feel Like A Woman"? Man, Randy, what were you thinking? If it was Brunswick Stew night on American Idol, this was the corn starch, and I mean loads of it.Carrie did manage to start off with an awfully cute (in a Shania-sort of way) "Let's go, girls!"---except that later it reminded me too much---way too much---of Diana DeGarmo's similar and constant exhortations to the audience to "help [her] out now."NO! You help ME out, people! You're the one singing and I'm the one paying! But, okay, maybe I've got jet lag, too.Carrie's version of "Man" was . . . waaay . . . waaay . . . tooooo . . . loooooowwww.I said last week that Carrie, my proclaimed queen of mondegreens, singing "If You Don't Know Me By Now," had sounded like Dori speaking "whale" in Finding Nemo.Well, this week, on this glob of corn starch, Carrie sounded like the whole herd of whales. (And please don't email me with the exquisite correction that a herd of whales is called a pod. I know. Thank you. I am simply taking literary license because I think it's the poetic thing to do here.)While male whales do sing for hours in their quest to attract mates (fact), this must be a sound only a whalette could love. Carrie's lower register hated this song and, well, we understand. It was impossible for Carrie to give it the creaminess, spunk and silly-but-back-at-ya-anyway spark that allowed Ms. Twain to pull this song off. Instead, it sounded like a pickup truck that dropped its muffler on the way to Jiffy Lube.Finally, Carrie seemed just plain embarrassed to be singing this sauce thickener and like she couldn't wait for it to end. I know I couldn't.That said, Carrie wasn't horrible. Nowhere near. Simon declared her performance "enough" to get her into the final and Paula, interestingly, babbled on about how it was "going to be tough between the two girls," indicating that she thought Carrie and Vonzell were in a pitched battle for second place.And with good reason. Tonight was The Bo Show. All Bo, All The Time. Old Mo and Bo.Any questions I've had over the course of the season about whether Harold "Bo" Bice really wants to win this gig as the American Idol were sent to bed, tucked in, and kissed good-night tonight. Bo---obviously having been in the kitchen all day---served up a brimming platter of juicy morsels that left the house begging for yet another and another helping.Yep, we want mo, Bo!Clive had Bo sing another Idol staple, "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me." He opened his mouth and a pure stream of cool longing came out. The chorus melted into pure, luscious buttah, not to mention that it was heated up with a generous shot of warm-your-insides Southern Comfort. Bo took his time to build the song, taking us up to an emotional high place that actually had more richness than even the original.Indeed, when Elton John sang this tune, it was a pop song. When Bo Bice sang it, it was a love song. And, like a fine wine, he did love on it.Bo stripped it---everything that has gone before---away. This was one heartfelt, passionate, naked song.Bo closed with an especially twangy glaze on "losing everythang" and then transitioned into a gushing, but totally believable, desirable wrap-up.Bo was on a roll.And little did we know then what a roll he was on. Lordy.Next up, Bo took the stage, alone in the spotlight, to sing an a cappella version of the British band, Badlands' "In A Dream."There was absolute silence in the house.Then he sang. And sang.There were no other sounds.Bo's dreamy, dreamboat rendition of "In A Dream" was full of soaring riffs and light. It was a performance that will go down in AI history. Sure, the judges focused on how big of a risk he took, how much courage it took to sing a cappella and so on and on and on. But the truth is that it worked simply because it was a thing of beauty.Bo's final tune was Paula's choice, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," a Rolling Stones classic that has one of the most memorable guitar drives of all time.
"A sinister cabal of superior writers."
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - TylerNewton
"but right now it sure does look like a Bo/Carrie sing-off is in our future."
It sure as hell better be. VONZELL has been in AI for 3 weeks longer than she should have been.
VONZELL can't be allowed into the finals, because she'll automatically win because when you put a white vs. black in ANYTHING, people are going to favor the black over the white, even if the white outdoes the black, for fear of being called racist if you support the white person.
That's the biggest reason VONZELL HAS TO GO NOW. If Vonzell goes to the final, and Bo or Carrie doesn't, it WILL be the biggest travesty on AI since Ruben "beating" Clay.
2 - Leslie
A single tear rolls down my cheek... If only we were all as poetic as you, Sticker. It scares me how in sync we are!
Vonzell was good but still not steady and sure enough for superstardom. Hope she gets her packing done before tomorrow night!
Carrie's come a long way for a small
town country girl and she's got a great set of vocals for particular songs but lately she's been sounding a little like fingernails on a chalkboard.
The Shania Twain song was so wrong! She started out way too low and sounded like someone doing laundry on one of those old washboards! I actually felt bad for her - what was Randy thinking?!
Bo-dacious! Clearly tonight's performance gave us serious insight into Bo's inner and outer karma - he's a star. To be brave and bold enough to go a capella! His voice was like pure syrup tonight and when he wins I'm havin' pancakes!
3 - Terri
When Bo was finished with that accapella song, all I could say was "WOW". That was just an unbelievable delivery. How smart of him to do it with out the band and really showcase his voice!
That ranks there with Fantasia doing "Summertime" as far as gut-wrenching, balls-to-the-walls, soulful, knock-em-dead (you get the drift?) performances ever.
4 - Eric Olsen
Tyler: "for fear of being called racist" - by who? yourself? No one knows who you did or didn't vote for. Why would anyone fear being called a racist when the voting is anonymous? Your line of reasoning is total racist psycho shit and I am really fucking sick of it.
Great job Sticker - you rule!!
5 - Eric Olsen
oh, and re the show, Bo's a capella was a little too close to me me me showy ostentation for me - use the band, buddy, that's why they're there.
6 - Aaron
Great column, Sticker. I couldn't agree more about Bo, clearly the class of this season's show. Just in case people are wondering who the heck Badlands (the band he covered for his second song) was, they were a bluesy hard rock band from England that emerged during the height of hair metal. Their lead singer, Ray Gillen, who has passed away, was phenomenal. I found this "Twilight Zone"-style post on the website of Badlands' guitarist, Jake E. Lee: "I just about shit the first time I saw Bo Bice on American Idol. That guy is the first REAL rock singer (ie:Paul Rodgers/RayGillen) I've heard in years! Ray Gillen is irreplacable, but Bo Bice could be the next best thing! Man that dude could KILL on some Badlands tunes!" This comment was posted on April 20. How's that for seeing the future?
7 - Matt
Eric--I agree. It was like some fucking coronation. He's got this sort of swagger now like he expects your neverending adulation.
8 - Sticker
tn-
please go away.
9 - Sticker
Leslie,
I'll join you in having pancakes when Bo wins!
10 - Sticker
Aaron,
GREAT catch on the Badlands site! Thanks!
Although not in the predictive mode, Bo also got kudos from the Ides of March when he sang "Vehicle" (more here)
Very telling.
11 - Aaman
Excellent review, Sticker.
Bo Vs. Carrie - rock vs. country - watch the sparks fly.
12 - Georgio
voting on weather you are black or white is just plain stupid ..Vonzell is so cute and has a great voice and personality and she will be a star even if she is voted off..same goes for Carrie...I was really pissed off at the judges for showing who they really want to be the winner,...but is the winner really the winner..look at Josh Gracin..I couldn't stand him and now he was up for best new talent on Country awards last night..go figure..and while I am on winners ..hell I can't even remember her name was voted best vocal of the year over such stars as Sara Evans and Tina Mc Bride..what are they thinking..I smell a bunch of Teenies doing the voting..As far as Bo goes I thought his Capella performance was stupid and only his first song was good..I can't stand the seedy look he has with the way too long hair and dirty looking face oh well I just hate rockers and can;t stand the acrobatics with the Mic while running around on the stage..But all that said I think all three will be stars in the future along with Erica Jo from Nashville Star..
13 - Keefer
Really enjoyed your article Sticker as well as the show last night. Bo really brought it. I was disappointed by the Randy/Paula/Simon choices of songs. All three songs really didn't showcase their singing abilities and the choruses were too repetitive. But Bo was the clear winner, of course. Vonzell, love you and can't wait to hear more from you in the near future. But... She may have been outsung last night.
14 - BRICKLAYER
Carrie Underwood=Best American Booty since the Divine Ms. Kelly C!
And on this, there can be no debate.
15 - Sticker
thanks, Aaman - Ithink it will be Bo v. Carrie.
I just hope it doesn't end up like the typical Super Bowl, with one team unraveling and the other trouncing them with their eyes shut.
16 - Sticker
thanks, keefer
I thought Clive Davis' song choices were not so hot, either.
And this is hilarious out of people who week after week harp on song choice---then Randy comes out with "Man, I Feel Like a Woman"? Ugh.
17 - TylerNewton
Fine then. I guess I am the ONLY person in America who see that if the final is Vonzell vs. Bo, Vonzell will win.
Or if the final is Vonzell vs. Carrie, Vonzell will win.
Remember, it is socially acceptable to favor a black person over a white person, even if the white person is more talented. This is the state of affairs here in the USA these days. It is not socially acceptable to like Carrie OVER Vonzell, or Bo OVER Vonzell, because Vonzell is black.
THIS AFFECTS VOTING. Too bad I am the person in America who sees this.
18 - TylerNewton
Eric: I am fucking sick of you never trying to understand anything I am saying. I have tried repeatedly to explain the dynamics of AI (And American society as it relates to race relations), and you ignore it.
You seem to start with the supposition that I am wrong, and prove it. NEVER ONCE have you given ANY CREDENCE to my ideas.
Thanks for being closed-minded Eric Olsen. I thought so much better of you.
19 - james mclafferty
What do you lot think of our simon cowell then we in the uk love to hate him.
20 - Rose
I read quite a few articles about the "song competition" last night of AI. This one is the best so far. You eloquently and accurately described what happened and what is was like when Bo sang a cappella. This shows what an intelligent and thoughtful person you are. Most other writers and people I've talked to and comments I've read are so jaded or whatever that they are incapable of describing it as "a thing of beauty" as you wrote.
21 - Leslie
I'm warming the griddle Sticker!
I think Bo going a capella was not a show of arrogance on his part but more like a defining characteristic of the confidence in himself. I think it was Randy who commented that it's clear Bo is in this to win and it's the reason he WILL win. I got a little bent lastnight as I watched one of my local newscasts from Portland, OR - they were doing a poll about who'd come out the winner. Bo was at 39%, Vonzell at 12% and Carrie at 49% by the program's end. I had to remember people in Oregon are mostly counrified folk so obviously Carrie would be their choice. Oregonians are not best known for the contents of their brains - no offense. I'm betting my fellow Californian comrades are Bo all the way. I think it would be interesting to actually see the geographics of the votes.
22 - Natalie Davis
Mr. Newton, you have stated your theory over and over again. And over and over again. And over and over again. We hear you! Many of us have disagreed. It isn't that we don't understand what you are saying -- we get your message all too well! -- the fact is, however, that we reject it and find your theory disgusting. Why can't you accept that?
I wish I could say that I thought so much better of you, but that would be a lie.
23 - Natalie Davis
Regarding polls, the many I have seen (before last night's astounding Bo performances) are about split -- half go to Bo and half to Carrie.
Personally, I think Bo's singing last night (described wonderfully by the poster) did the job. As the final note of his a cappella rendition of Badlands' tune died away, I said to Spousal Unit, "Bo just won this thing." And I believe he did: Bo Bice, in my mind, IS the American Idol, and perhaps the best of the bunch.
24 - Sticker
Rose,
Thank you for your kind words. I think many writers think they are extra-cool and so end up the opposite.
But, anyway, I just do my thing, call it as I see it, and I'm glad you and others enjoy reading what I write.
25 - Sticker
Leslie,
There were people who thought the a cappella version was a gambit of some sort and some people just don't dig a cappella singing.
There will always be a variety of opinions and that's good. But I took it the same way you did: Bo declaring that he wants to win, here, here's how I sing.