Chris Sligh has always impressed me as a man with a plan. Walking into the sixth season of American Idol, he and his fellow contestants obviously had to have an idea of how the show works. I don’t doubt that he’s genuinely snarky, but his quip during the auditions (“I’m here to make David Hasselhoff cry”) was pretty much an indicator of Idol things to come: nicely calculated to make an impression on the judges and the viewers at home without offending anybody save The Hoff’s German fans (who can’t vote) and those who are in eternal mourning for the cleavage that was Baywatch (who wouldn’t vote for him anyway).
By the time the top 24 were finalized, however, it must have been obvious to him that he hadn’t landed in the two prime Idol spots that gets everybody talking: the best of the best and the worst of the rest. The girls pretty much had a lockdown on the best section while Antonella Barba and Sanjaya Malakar were shoo-ins for the worst (Sanjaya fans, please don’t email me, I know you love him already. Believe me, how I know!).
Haley Scarnato would sometimes stray over to the latter group but her problem is a personality vacuum more than anything else; she has it patched up with her wardrobe for now but it won’t last. Blake Lewis gets into the former by default because he’s young, pretty and beatboxes when he isn’t singing; he also knows songs from the 90s and has that elusive thing called personality, which means the rest of the guys are pretty much screwed no matter how much Timberland or Nosferatu they channel.
So there are only two other options left to stand out: either bring something “different” to the table or make your way up the controversy rankings. I don’t know if Sligh made a conscious decision to try each of these out but try them he did and failed every time.
First up: bringing the “different”.
Snarky Sligh was in full force when he had that infamous brush with Simon Cowell involving Il Divo and Teletubbies. I bet he didn’t see the outrage coming. It’s a common mistake: people, especially people who hate Simon, always think that he makes an easy target because, well, he’s so free with the insults himself. But as Sharon Osbourne put it once, Simon is Simon. What he can get away with, only he can, for strange and hazy reasons that really make no sense in the light of day. You need to be extremely sure of your ground before you take him on, on his own turf.
Article comments
1 - Dawn
That was astounding. I am floored - great job Amrita!
I really liked Chris' voice, but he lost is appeal in the last few weeks. I hope he and his band do well, he definitely has talent.
2 - Kaonashi
First of all, thank you for the MeeVee links to his American Idol reviews. They were a hoot to read! And I thought I was mean to Sanjaya.
Oh and BTW, I almost choked on my water when I went on the Vote for the Worst site last night and they called a certain contestant Nos-Phil-atu. I can't stand those VFTW guys, but they sure are funny.
As for Chris Sligh, he was definitely one of my favorites early on, but then he just lost steam. I understand why now, after reading this exit interview. Chris never really took the show seriously, which is a disappointing shame because he had so much potential. I know that some musicians think they're too "cool" and "hip" for this show, but then why even try out? I recall that Bo Bice once said that he didn't really think of winning very early on, but I guess something clicked in him and he decided to actually go for it, which apparently is what Chris never did.
3 - Kaonashi
Oh, and thanks for a great read Amrita! It's about time someone wrote about a contestant other than you know who ;)
4 - Amrita
Dawn - thank you! :)
Actually, I think Chris does a good job with his band. Much better than what he did on the show. He seems like a pretty ambitious guy so I bet he'll show up again.
5 - Amrita
Kaonashi - I know! I had to get the ponyhawk one off my mind!
See that interview bothers me. I hate that whininess that emerged after a while. You'd think the judges were some sort of puppetmasters who made up our minds for us. I'm not saying they don't matter but the worst losers on this show have always ended up on the position that the judges are the ones who make up minds. And thats not true.
re: VFTW. Heh. I used to like them that first year. Then they went viral and I can't stand em anymore. Nos-Phil-atu is pretty funny though :D
6 - Kaonashi
Amrita- Yeah, like when Antonella was stupid enough to tell Simon, "You didn't like Jennifer Hudson," to which Simon countered, "We liked Jennifer. We put her through. AMERICA voted her off."
7 - Amrita
Kaonashi - Argh, Antonella! I really thought Haley was going to go the Alaina/Antonella way with her attitude but it turns out all she wanted was some sort of validation by Simon.
You know, my mind has been moving on controversies this season and I realized the only one who's consistently benefitted from AI scandal no matter what is Simon.
I think I knew it already but hadnt thought it out like that.
8 - Jon
The public often votes for those who are not the most talented, so to speculate is kind of pointless in my opinion. I didn't consider him to be snarky, just hilarious, and I thought he had a lot of talent. I didn't know he was a Christian, didn't know about the run-in with Cowell and I haven't been watching the last few weeks, but in the end, it's simply a strange competition. It would be interesting to see what would happen if the actual judges were allowed to vote for the winners. The public isn't looking for the most talented Idol, they're looking for America's sweetheart, and unfortunately, it appears as if Chris wasn't pretty, safe or nice enough to be that guy this year.
9 - Kaonashi
Amrita- Well, Simon is pretty much a publicity and money whore. But at the same time he's my favorite judge, because he's the only one out of the three who speaks in coherent sentences. I am seriously so sick of Randy's "Yo, dawg" crap. The guy is what- 45? Jeez, grow up already.
10 - Kaonashi
Oh, and I don't think we've heard the last of Antonella. I'm betting big money that you'll find her wearing next to nothing on the cover of FHM in a few months. Then, she'll become an "entertainment correspondent" on some vapid gossip show like Access Hollywood.
11 - Fletch
The fact that Sligh is a Christian did not turn me off. I try to be a good Presbytarian boy myself. It was Sligh's connection to Bob Jones so-called "University" that made me sick. Jones is the one place on earth where you can major in bigotry and minor in a blanket rejection of all logical science. They make all Christians look REALLY bad. I'm glad he's gone.
12 - Tara
Hate to tell you this, but 6 of the remaining top 9 contestants are Christians.
13 - Amrita
Jon - you and Simon think alike :) Thats pretty much what he said about Taylor Hicks winning.
Kaonashi - yeah she said she wouldn't do it but considering she doesnt have a job for this summer, my guess is the same as yours.
Fletch - well, he says he doesnt particularly want to associate with them and only went there because this was the "less crazy school" of the two choices his parents gave him. [I wonder which was the other school?] He actually got kicked out for going to some concert that the university disapproved of. I feel inclined to give him the doubt. There's no way you could list Freddie Mercury as one your favorite artists if you were drinking the same kool aid as the people of BJU, I think.
Tara - yes, I know. I wrote about it.