(I’ve always thought Wahlberg was a great artist. Here’s some of my favorite early work. Why yes, Mark, I do feel it baby. Thanks for asking!)
From the pleasant opening introduction, it was all downhill from there. There was a sort of but not really funny song from Will Farrell and Jack Black. There were some ill-conceived tumblers making movie logo shapes which went from sort of clever to really tedious as the evening wore on. (At least it wasn’t interpretive dance from Cirque du Soleil). There were some film clip montages which, again, went from clever to tedious as the program marched towards hour four.
Sherry Lansing won the Academy’s Humanitarian prize. Apparently at least one of the scientific causes she supports involves cryogenic freezing of the face. I can’t remember any of her speech as I was too distracted comparing the difference between her Jessica Tandy arms and her forehead tight enough to bounce a quarter. It was a little scary when Ennio Morricone began his lengthy Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech in Italian, until it became clear that he was using his five minutes to give a grand and gracious Fuck You to the Academy for ignoring his work for forty years.
Ellen’s hosting was as safe and bland as an American cheese sandwich on white bread with the crust removed. Her edgiest joke was “If it weren’t for blacks, Jews, and gays there would be no Hollywood,” and even that was delivered with enough solemnity one questioned if it were, in fact, intended to be funny. WOW! Way to speak truth to power Ellen! Can you imagine Johnny Carson being given four hours of podium duty without dropping a single solitary President joke, or an Iran joke, or a global warming joke? When the real Al Gore is funnier than the jokes, you’re doing something wrong.
Of course, we all wanted to see Marty win. Any doubt over that outcome was erased when Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas came out to present the Best Director award. Jack Nicholson looking on from the sidelines completed this intimidating Gang of Four, making it clear that, should a name other than Scorsese’s appear in the envelope, it might be best for that person to head for the exit rather than the stage. There was naught to worry. Marty got his prize, gave a fabulous speech (including the great direction to his seven-year-old, “Stay up for ten more minutes, then jump on the bed and make a lot of noise,” a fabulous response to everyone who has ever used their Oscar Moment to tell their kids to go to bed) and drifted off the stage in a haze of joy and glory.
Article comments
1 - Victor Lana
Very nice review of the general proceedings. I just wonder how the Academy can give a sympathy vote to Alan Arkin and ignore Peter O'Toole. Any ideas?
As for Scorcese, I knew he won as soon as I saw the presenters. It's like welcome to the club club. Or something like that.
Live long and prosper!
2 - Mary K. Williams
Good write up. I pretty much agree, except I thought Ellen did fine, and I didn't mind the tumblers.
Whatever pre-show I saw was pretty bad. I think it was the ABC one, and it was definitely cringe inducing.
3 - Catherine
I caught none of the pre-show, and only some of the Oscars. But I did see the truly awful E! show as a repeat the next day. I would be embarrassed if my name were associated with that debacle in any way, shape or form. The entire show was worse than Bjork's infamous swan dress.
On the other side of the balance scale, I caught Tim Gunn's commentary on the Today show. As always, he was well-spoken and a delight to listen to (even if our taste differs, lol). I have utterly forgotten the actress, but it was a kick to have her interrupt his admiring comments to gush all over him and show her relief over his approval.
And maybe because it's something I'll never be able to do at this stage of my life, but I thought the tumblers in silhouette were fascinating!