It has been a long day and the first thing I want to do to relax is watch a movie. But, the question is what movie? While examining my choices, I realize that I have a tendency towards romantic comedies. They are cute, funny, and romantic. They are the perfect go-to movie for me. They are also the movies that I wish I did not love so much.
Romantic comedies, or rom-coms, seem harmless. Typically they do not involve a lot of violence or obscene language. The occasional sex scene may pop up, but other than that they do not pose a threat. Or, do they?
A typical rom-com features a normal woman, probably shy, who through a series of humorous, and sometimes embarrassing, moments ends up with the perfect guy. What is the harm in that? While it may not create a need to shoot down people, these movies could pose as a problem for young women. Hollywood has created an ideal relationship, one that does not focus on the reality of relationships.
Like so many other women, young and old, I want that funny, romantic story. I want the guy from the movie. I want to randomly meet a guy through email like in 1998’s You’ve Got Mail. Or, I want to have a Mr. Darcy fall in love with me like in 2001’s Bridget Jones’s Diary. But, how healthy is it to have those expectations? It is not healthy.
I have an idea built up in my head of what a relationship should be like. It should have some bumps, sure, but it should be fun and sweet. That is not how real relationships work out. A relationship requires so much more work and does not just happen in a span of a month or so.
And, sometimes the guy is not always going to be the perfect man. Just because a couple gets together does not mean that everyone is going to “live happily ever after.” Rarely do rom-coms show past the moment that the main characters love each other.
Article comments
1 - Dr Dreadful
There are of course always going to be some slow folks, but I think most kids, and adults, know that what they see in the movies or on TV isn't what they should expect in real life. They know that walking off into the sunset hand in hand with Mr/Ms Right following a series of hilarious misunderstandings, or jumping off a bridge and landing unscathed on the roof of a speeding truck, or running through a hail of bullets without being hit once, just isn't the way the real world works.
There are a few films that fit into the rom-com category that go against the grain. The Break-Up is one: it follows the main characters falling out of, rather than in love. The final scene, in which Vaughn's and Aniston's characters run into each other having "moved on", is particularly nice, and realistic in its understated awkwardness.
A couple of the many, many plots of Love, Actually are also unconventional: particularly the one in which Laura Linney's character's budding relationship with a handsome co-worker doesn't go anywhere because of her overriding love for her sick brother; and the one in which a frumpy housewife (Emma Thompson) discovers her husband's (Alan Rickman) infidelity, and they are not reconciled by the end of the movie.
And this year's Crazy, Stupid, Love, while it does follow the formula to some degree, centers on Steve Carell's newly-divorced character lurching between trying to move on and trying to get his wife back, and not entirely succeeding in either endeavour.
2 - Jesse Balzer
Wonderful article, you raise many interesting points and I love how you used examples from your own life to illustrate your points. Keep it up!