Now that I have the attention of every gamer who reads Blogcritics, I’m proposing a new project — follow up to the recent disastrous Blunt Swords debacle. Blunt Swords was to be a discussion forum for writers that actually works. But it didn’t work. It didn’t work because online forums for writers don’t work. I knew this. I also know that if I get very drunk I will have a three-day hangover, yet I’ve indeed willfully intoxicated myself to great extent in the past. So I guess I just had to stick my hand in the fire to discover that writers’ forums are too hot — or not too hot, as the case may be — to manage.
But this new gig, this is all about fun: We are forming a video gaming league for writers. If you’re laughing now, piss off. There’s a precedent for pen-wielding gamers. Alex Garland and Martin Amis. And Martin Amis and Alex Garland. And Trent Reznor — okay, he’s a songwriter, which is not exactly what we’re after; but if Trent Reznor wants to join and be my new best friend, he’s in, baby. However I’m sure there are a great many writers who don’t quite have that sort of name recognition who pine passionately for pastimes popular perhaps betwixt periods of perpetrating purple prose and violating virginal volumes with venomous verse. You get the picture.
The rules, because there are always rules:
1. You must be a writer. This does not mean that you must be a published writer, or work in a writing-related field; you must only aspire to the writer’s life. And keep after it daily or at least weekly. If you put food on the table by working at Blockbuster or as an automotive mechanic or a soft-porn star, so be it. You simply must define your avocation and potential vocation as writing.
2. You must have Internet access. That one should be easy. You’re reading this.
3. You must have a PC, Mac or Xbox with Xbox Live subscription. You’ll need some games, too; but we’ll start matching up the haves and the have-nots when the league is formed. We’ll try to accommodate Mac users as much as possible for game sessions; however, realize that if you’re Mac-only you may not be able to participate in every league night. Once everything is underway, informal sessions can be scheduled in addition to the formal league nights.
4. Membership is by application only. Application is an essay in one-hundred words or less on why you belong in our little club. Judgment of essays will be, shall we say, less than strict. We’d just like to know that you’re interested enough in the concept to bang out a hundred words and submit it for review. Hopefully, submission of an application implies that you will actually participate.
5. Submit essays to the Game League Secretary. Essays must be in English or French, though English will be the default language for all league communications and sessions. (For those applying in French, keep it damn simple, please: meaning, more or less, a French children’s story.) There is no deadline, as recruitment — conscription? — is ongoing; but please, if you’re interested, hop on it.
You’ll be notified of your acceptance — very likely — or rejection — a spare few of you who really shouldn’t write anything, ever. Details to follow. Please give this serious consideration. If we build a largish membership, we can hold tournaments: pay $10 to enter; 20 entrants; that’s a $200 Amazon.com gift certificate to you should you win. The more, the merrier, and the better the prizes.
Get to it, people. This is my last gasp at some community-building.Powered by Sidelines