I loathe being the stereotypical bitter female singleton/man hater on Valentine’s Day. I’m above this sort of petty jealousy and deep down while I know I might be too cool, that doesn’t mean I’m immune to just how out-of-touch I am with love and all its commercial manifestations.
In your ‘20s, you don’t get real woman cred unless you’re “attached” or reeling from a messy break-up with an a-hole and kvetching about it. I blame it on that tireless Sex & The City trend. They even have shelves at reputable bookstores devoted to “Chic Lit.”
But what if you don’t fit neatly in any of these categories?
What if you’re actually really determined to move forward in your professional/creative pursuits and would rather channel all that energy into something remotely constructive? I’ll admit that for a while, I can get lost in my work, but then inevitably my heart starts wanting.
Here’s where God is having a grand laugh at your expense.
The real kicker is that either way you’re unfulfilled somehow. When I’m in a relationship and all of a sudden “in love,” I lack drive and ambition and I’m not ok with this. My writing gets the back burner and I’m secretly stewing about this, brimming with restless ‘me” energy. And when I’m not with someone, I’m bemoaning my loneliness like a thinner, prettier, and more jewish version of Bridget Jones.
I repeat the mantra: I’m not selfish because I want to accrue some level of success with my writing. But I’d be lying to myself if I said it didn’t come with its sacrifices. For a relationship to work, you need a plethora of time and patience. Personally, mine wears thin by the end of the day with the countless responsibilities I’ve assumed.
Real love and devotion not only requires optimal timing, but two people committed to the longevity of the relationship. Sometimes I think that more than anything, two people have to really want a relationship first and foremost and that the person they choose is secondary.
Now, on to the tangential rant…(which in no way is related to a recent experience that happened in the last 3 days).
My biggest pet peeve is when a guy says he’s gonna call or be in touch and then doesn’t follow through. I feel like it’s such a trite statement. I also credit the success of Gavin DeGraw’s music career on his ability to tap into this very insight.
How many heartsick gals were out there thinking, “Gavin, you are wise beyond your years. All I want is a guy to follow through for me. Now bed me, you crazy fool.”
Eh, maybe not.
After all, I just want a decent date.
Preferably sooner. Not later.