Distracting mustache seen here with John Bolton.
Written by Joe Wilson
WASHINGTON D.C. (PoopyCaca.com) – In order to investigate charges that John Bolton, the nominee for U.N. ambassador, threatened subordinates who disagreed with him and that “he’s kind of a dick,” the Senate Foreign Relations Committee put off a scheduled vote to confirm Bolton.
In what is seen as an effort to overhaul and soften his image, John Bolton has taken on a new role – commercial spokesperson for “Just For Men Mustache, Beard and Sideburn Brush-In Color Gel.”
The move was seen by many as a response to President Bush’s comment urging senators to “put aside politics and concerns about his mustache being so distracting. I think it looks just fine”
Victoria Fountain, a spokesperson for Acme Image Consultants, the company that garnered the Just For Men deal for John Bolton, explained the move. “Much like Bob Dole was seen as much more human after doing commercials for Viagra and soda, Mr. Bolton will be seen as someone who will make a great U.N ambassador with his dyed mustache and more youthful look.”
The commercial begins airing next week and features basketball hall-of-famer and sports analyst Walt Frazier and former Washington Redskins quarterback Joe Theismann, who will give play by play commentary on Bolton’s testimony before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee before and after he dyes his mustache.
At the end of the ad, Bolton sports a dyed mustache, turns from the committee and gives Frazier and Theismann a thumbs up, to which they respond, “If Just For Men can get him the ambassadorship, think what it can do for you.”
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