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TV Review: Ugly Betty – “Zero Worship”

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Justin’s class arrives for a tour of Mode and the little darlings are bored with the journalistic background that Betty’s shoveling at them. They only want the dirt, and most has to do with how little celebrities eat and how thin they should strive to be. One smarter, geekier student seems momentarily interested until she’s shut down by the vapid ringleader. As Jason says, “It’s like Lord of the Flies in ballet flats.” There were several fabulous lines this episode, but one of my favorites was from Betty’s former teacher who exclaims, “Oy, Betty, they’re New York teenagers! If they can kinda read and they don’t kill me, I’m happy.”

Amanda is pining for her mystery father and resorts to going with Marc to his psychic (a fabulous cameo by Annie Potts) who actually appears to be authentic. She gives Amanda a series of clues that she assures will lead her to her father. After rescuing Bow Wow and Betty from a stuck elevator (I love that the rapper makes a pass at Betty, and what chemistry that young star exudes!) and almost kissing Betty, she is led to a photograph of KISS co-founder Gene Simmons. Could the platform-wearing, long-tongued bass guitarist really be Amanda's Daddy?

As usual, Christina has one of the other great lines of the episode. When discussing the increasing thinness of the models (“00 is the new 0”) she says, “This morning I fitted clothes on a spinal cord with a tuft of hair!” Henry breaks the news to her that her insurance won’t cover handsome husband Stuart’s experimental surgery for his failing liver, and Christina has to find $100,000 and fast.

Disturbed by the dangerous body image messages that Mode is sending to young women, Betty campaigns for the use of normal-shaped models for the Mode fashion show. Daniel goes for it but is shot down by his sister, Alexis, now the corporation’s president. He lies to Betty and they stage a press conference with a rigged scale that says that the emaciated models weigh 20 pounds more than they actually do. Betty confronts Alexis only to discover it was Daniel’s idea. Betty then confronts him and in a shame spiral he decides to stage a renegade fashion show with real women after the skeletal version. This is a huge success and his sister takes all the credit.

Wilhelmina is taking hormones in order to try and produce one good egg so they can inseminate it with Bradford’s sperm. Turns out, however, that she has a hostile womb (is there any part of that woman that isn’t hostile?). She recruits her manicurist as a carrier until Marc discovers she’s a dominatrix porn star. Now Willie has to find a new host for her Meade heir. Naturally they think of poor Christina who is desperate for money for Stuart’s operation. I have to say, though I adore Vanessa Williams, I’m hoping this is the last Wile E. Coyote (or, if you’ll forgive me: Will-Ie Coyote) type scheme to take over Mode. I think that storyline has run its course.

Only two more episodes of Ugly Betty this season, gente, and the coming attractions tease us with the possibility that Betty’s pregnant! One can only hope that we aren’t left hanging too low before the premature season finale.

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About Ann Hagman Cardinal