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TV Review: Survivor: Micronesia – Tribe Stupidity

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This week, I found myself questioning just how smart the majority of these people are. I’d like to believe that only the strong and intelligent can play Survivor, but after this episode – I’m really starting to have my doubts.

The Malakal tribe returned from tribal council after voting off Ami, and it seemed as if the tribe had trouble getting over the guilt. Erik on the other hand, was thrilled to be the only remaining fan on the Malakal tribe after fighting so hard to get there. The tribe hoped that the next day would lead to a merge.

At the Airai camp, Jason and Eliza, both feeling like outsiders, began forming an alliance; they figured if they could get Ami on their side, they would be sitting pretty. Jason also told Eliza that he had the immunity idol. Eliza was happy but little did she know that two things would soon crash down on her. One: Ami had been voted out. Two: Jason had a fake immunity idol planted by Ozzy. Eliza also tried to strengthen her bonds with Parvati. However, Parvati was just more convinced that Eliza should go next.

I never liked Parvati. I didn’t like her when I saw her in Survivor; Cook Islands, and I certainly don’t like her now. At first it was because she was being stupid and using her looks to get by. This year, she’s pretty much doing the same thing, only she looks down on everyone else and assumes everyone should just jump to her. Let me tell you, it’s that kind of stuff that will kill you, sister. Even if she made it to the final two, so many people will dislike her that no one will vote for her.

The teams received tree mail, telling them to pack all the belongings they wanted to take with them to the merge. Now when they said all the belongings, they really took that seriously. They even packed the flags of their old tribes before finally leaving to meet the other tribe. At the beach, there was a feast waiting for them and everyone rejoiced. Some were excited to see friends; others were excited to make new alliances. Eliza was greatly disappointed to find it had been Ami, not Erik, who had been voted out. This had put a huge hole in her plan.

The survivors were told they would spend the night at this beach and decide which old beach to call home for their new tribe. They mutually agreed the former Malakal beach was the best beach. For a tribe name, Erik had suggested Dabu, a supposedly Micronesian word for "good." The tribe liked it and picked it as their tribe name. As it turned out, Erik revealed that Dabu was just a random word he picked and that he had no clue what it meant. So basically, for all the tribe knew, Dabu could be Micronesian for "hooker"?

Actually, I looked up the national language for Micronesia, and in a sad twist of fate, that national language is English. I was amazed. I didn’t even know there was a Micronesia before this season, but still. No one looked it up? In past seasons people picked names from other languages, there’s a reason, they don’t know what the national language is. So basically, they should have just called the tribe "Good"?

I think we should take a page out of Futurama’s book and name the tribe the "Fighting Mongooses." You know, just have fun with it, as opposed to picking a word you’ve probably never heard in your life. Go tribe … The Broncos?

Anyway, they spent the night on the beach. During which Alexis and Ozzy got awfully close — too close for Amanda’s liking. She became jealous that Alexis was moving in on her Ozzy. Now, this coming from the girl who once plotted to get rid of Ozzy. I’ve come to the conclusion, though she’s not as bad as Parvati, Amanda had absolutely no idea what she wants. One minute, Amanda wants Ozzy gone, the next she wants Alexis gone for getting to close to him.

The next morning, the tribes made their way back to the former Malakal camp. Eliza began freaking out about tribal council, knowing that she was the next target to go. Jason, however, promised Eliza that if he won the immunity challenge, he would give her the (air quotation hand sign) hidden immunity idol (air quotation hand sign).

Parvati meanwhile, was strategizing with Amanda and revealed she had put them into an alliance with Natalie and Alexis. Amanda was mad that Parvati had gotten her in this situation. I couldn’t blame her. Parvati might have just put Amanda in a horrible spot. If she goes one way, she’s going against half the tribe, if she goes another way; she still loses half the tribe. In other words, Amanda’s biggest hope at this point is if she goes up against Parvati, because either way, she’s betraying a group of people.

Jeff was just as surprised as I was when he heard the tribe name. In fact, I think I saw a look of disbelief when they told him about the name. Jeff decided to keep any thoughts he had about it to himself. Jeff is a man with more self-control than me. I would have done one of two things. One, tell them how stupid they are all. Two, make up another completely fake meaning and reveal that as the Micronesian definition for Dabu. For example: Dabu, in my book, would mean "big-pile of doggy doo." I guarantee that would have a made an interesting conversation later on.

The immunity challenge was pretty simple to understand. Each of the tribe mates would stand in the water under a metal grate. For as long as they could, they had to stand under the grate as the tide began rise, covering them in water. The person who could stand under this grate the longest won immunity.

No one flaked out early in the game; however, when people started giving up, all the girls seemed to fly off first followed by Erik and James. Leaving Ozzy, the fishman, and his biggest fan (that’s questionable, by the way) Jason against one another. In the end, Ozzy accidentally took in the some water and had to come out, making Jason the winner.
Eliza soon discovered that everyone in tribe except Jason was voting for her. Jason snuck the immunity idol into Eliza’s bag, only for Eliza to find out it was a fake idol. Although I don’t think much of Eliza, I only have to say – at least she was smart enough to know it wasn’t the idol. Jason convinced her to play it anyway, just in case it was. Figuring she had nothing else to lose, she decided to try it.

During the tribal council, everyone made the same point – Eliza was good physically and mentally in the game, she just wasn’t very good socially. Eliza and Parvati got into a heated argument, which only ended when it was time to vote. After everyone voted, Eliza tried to give Jeff the idol. Jeff told her what she already knew: it wasn’t the real idol. Eliza then told everyone that Ozzy had the real idol, which he admitted was true. Jeff threw Ozzy’s fake idol in the fire, getting complaints from him. Ozzy said and I quote “Come on, man. That took me hours to make.” Finally, Jeff read the votes and Eliza was voted out. She became the first member of the survivor jury. She was disappointed, but to say she was shocked would be ridiculous.

So, what did I think of the episode. Stupid, not the actual episode, but what people did in it. I might have lost ten I.Q. points watching these people. I hope they're smarter because I couldn’t bare another week with this much stupidity.

Next week :

A special reward is planned for the winners of the next challenge. Could this be a chance to strategize?

The all-girl alliance wants Ozzy out, but without Amanda’s help, that could be hard.

James and Ozzy come together and reform their alliance. Could they make it to the bottom two? I hope so, it’d be the best bottom two since Ozzy and Yul from Survivor: Cook Islands. I know, there was a third one in that bottom group, but I don’t count her.

After the show, there was also a commercial about going on the Survivor website about a video about where the survivor jury goes after their voted out. The place is called Survivor: Ponderosa. It’s basically a rec hall—the survivors sleep outside in cozy tents and are allowed to do whatever on the beach or in the small building. They also have an unlimited amount of snacks and food to eat and a bathroom. I always thought they went to a five-star hotel or something. Apparently, I was mistaken. It was interesting though. Being the fan I am, I’m glad I got to see where the survivors go when their voted out. You can find it on the Survivor website.

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  • http://www.booklinker.blogspot.com Deano

    The language in question is probably a variant of Polynesian, of which there are a number of varied sub-groups (i.e. Tongan, Maori etc.).

    Interestingly enough “dabu” is orcish for “yes or okay” in the game Warcraft I & II….click on one of the poor little peon orcs when you put him to work and he cheerfully responds “Dabu!”

  • http://www.maskedmoviesnobs.com El Bicho

    Eliza may have gotten the last laugh as she outed Ozzy. Him having it and not telling his alliance may put doubt in their minds. [do you get it now, Chet?]

    Pavarti is an idiot and comes off like a stuck-up witch, which is most likely how she acted in high school. She’s not as good looking as she thinks.

  • http://childoftv.blogspot.com Brent

    There are a variety of Micronesian languages. The language of Yap (which I mention because they showed some Yapese stone money in an early episode) doesn’t seem to have words ending in the letter “u”. However “dabu” seems perilously close to the Fijian word “tabu” and the Tongan “tapu”. Both words are generally interpreted at “forbidden”, but “tapu” is currently is also interpreted as meaning “sacred” or “holy” but in the sense of being forbidden or restricted by law (sort of like “kosher”).

  • Dave

    They are actually in Palau again, which is a group of islands within the larger region of Micronesia. They just didn’t want to call it Survivor Palau again. They speak Palauan there, also called Belauan. The Palauan word for good is “Ungil.” Almost everybody in Palau can speak English.

  • Katelynn Phillips

    I think palau is a pretty cool place. Some of the best seasons of survivor came from there. It’s pretty cool that one country has so many different languages (it must get confusing though).

    I think next weeks episode should be more interesting. This one was okay, but it wasn’t the best.

    Thanks for the comments,

    Katelynn

  • CallmeMaddy

    Nice recap :)