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TV Review: Steven Seagal Lawman – “Deadly Hand”

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This past week Steven Seagal’s Lawman debuted on A&E with back-to-back episodes. This review picks up where my last review left off.

First, the good news for Seagal fans — according to The Hollywood Reporter website, both episodes that aired this past Wednesday attracted 3.5 million viewers. Other news accounts have the Lord of Whoopass setting an A&E debut record for the 18- to 49-year-old demographic. What does this mean for his legions of fans? At minimum it probably means Lawman will be renewed and if we are really lucky it could mean that a studio will give the green light for Under Siege III!

Once again Reserve Deputy Chief Steven Seagal hits the streets with his team of law enforcement officers. Much like the first episode, Seagal and his team prowl the streets of Jefferson Parish in their spooky, black, unmarked SUVs.

In this episode we see fewer guns but we are treated to Seagal's Zen-like bionic eye. While on patrol Seagal uses his slow motion bionic eye to spot a suspect who may have pocketed a pistol. In “The Way of the Gun,” Seagal warned us that he was clairvoyant. Well boy, he wasn’t kidding! Seagal’s team swoops in and the suspect runs. During the chase the alleged suspect drops his gun and his cell phone, proving once again that the Mojo Priest truly does know all. Somewhere along the way to our enlightenment we are treated to the first of many priceless Seagal quotes: “If you can’t anticipate an attack, you can’t defend against it.”

Well said, Steven, well said!

It must be Seagal’s clairvoyance kicking in because the foot chase prompts Steven to worry about his team’s ability to grapple with criminals. So the very next day our hero decides to give his team an aikido lesson. What follows is a crash course in aikido wrist locks that concludes with Seagal throwing his aikido demonstrator to the mat. After that Seagal quips, "Looks easy. It’s not easy. It takes a lot of practice." Typically four or five years of practice to be exact, which is probably why law enforcement academies don’t have the time to teach formal martial arts to their officers! But there I go digressing again.

After filling his team with martial knowledge they are ready to go back out on patrol. This time Team Seagal is called to a parking lot brawl, and once again Colonel John Fortunato thankfully does all the driving. Due to my excitement over the prospect of Under Siege III being filmed I may not be thinking clearly. Either that or I’m starting to develop my own bionic eye. Whatever it is, I’m starting to notice that Seagal’s SUV seems to roll up last and he’s generally kept in the background imparting Zen-like quotes. No doubt it's the work of the department's pesky insurance company.

Case in point: By the time Seagal arrives at the brawl all that’s left for him to do is console a handcuffed “suspect” who appears to have anger issues. In fact, this guy gets so mad that he ends up kicking out the police car window and gets tasered for his efforts! What follows is another Seagal gem: “In Zen if somebody has to get angry, we get angry and then try to let it go. And this gentleman is not a very good practitioner.”

Truer words have not been spoken.

After braving the parking lot brawl Seagal uses his bionic eye one last time to spot some more suspects who were drinking in a parked car. Nothing much happens here worth writing about but the event does prompt Seagal to give the police one last martial arts lesson.

Later the next day we see our hero back at the training academy teaching police recruits more aikido techniques. The lesson starts with what is this episode's cheesiest Seagal line: “You can look at me as a movie star. Steven Seagal’s here, he’s a movie star. Or, you can wipe that shit out of your head and think, Steven Seagal can save my life!”

Can Steven Seagal truly save our lives? I don't know about that but he may just have saved his career!

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About Bob Patterson

  • Pete Malloy

    I never in my life thought anyone could come close to William Shatner’s realistic role in T J HOOKER until I had the great pleasure of seeing LAWMAN. Seagal’s realistic portrayal of daily policework should win him the Medal of Valor with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s office.

  • Rodney King

    This clown makes Dog The Bounty Hunter look like Sergeant Joe Friday in Dragnet.

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    Pete – Ha! I forgot all about the great T.J. Hooker!

    Rodney – I may have to quote you in my next review!

  • Tom Steele

    After watching the show, I find that ita starts to reveal the daily activies of an officer. After 19 years of law enforcement I’m glad to see someone like Mr. Seagal taking an active part in his community. As a law enforcement officer you place your life on the line everytime you put the uniform on. The criminals don’t care if you are an actor/deputy or regular deputy, they are going to continue to commint crimes.

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    Tom,

    Thanks for your comments. Seagal is never without controversy — it will be interesting to see how this all plays out.

  • John Edgar Hoover

    Does anyone realize Steven Segall was disqualified as an applicant for reserve police officer or deputy sheriff from numerous police departs in California?

    The fact that he had to go way down south to a small unknown Sheriffs Departmet where the hiring requirements and length of background aren’t as stringent, as say, some fully-fledged law enforcement agency. This is not meant as a condescending remark toward the Jefferson Parish Sheriff department.

    Mr. Seagall is an actor-plain and simple. And not a very good one at that. He’s a washed-up action “hero” from the 80’s, an icon for the juvenile filmgoer.

    If steven Seagall wanted to really get his hands dirty by doing real police work, he would be a reserve police officer in the lower-income suburbs of Los Angeles, like Bell Police Department, Huntington Park, Compton, South Central Los Angeles, Long Beach, etc.

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    JEH,

    All good points!

    -Bob

  • Scott

    JEH, maybe you are unfamiliar of the crime that exists in the Orleans/Jefferson parish area. Do you even know where Jefferson parish is?

  • DACON9

    YO HOOVER, when the police put their life on the line to protect idiots like you, is their life worth any less because they work in jefferson county versus other counties?
    and are the citizens poor but innocent any less also in jefferson parish.
    I CALL YOU A VERY INSECURE PERSON WHO JUST WANTS TO SHOW HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW AND HOW LITTLE YOU RESPECT PEOPLE DIFFERENT FROM YOURSELF. I respect y as long as you remain sedated.

  • Devin

    If anyone doesn’t really know Steven Seagal’s background they will make idiotic comments towards him and what he has done and is currently doing.

    Whether you think he is a good actor or not, you should respect him. This is just my opinion of course.

    He holds the rank of 7th Dan in Aikido which is remarkable, and was once recruited into the military’s special forces. Also he was the first white man to open an Aikido dojo in Japan. Oh yeah he plays the guitar, sings and can play the double harp.

    He is no joke…please show some respect.

  • Bobby

    John Hoover…you make some good points, but when you spell the guys name wrong it hurts your credibility!

  • BigBrutis

    Steven Seagal has done a great thing for the community, and is a man of great knowledge of the martial arts. His acting ability is what it is. The show is great and has a great insight on what to expect on the terrible streets of that city and county. I have been involved in law enforcement as a correction officer and know what officers deal with on a daily basis. Hats off to Seagel and the county, be safe and keep up the good work.

  • judy

    Steven Seagal — wow — to remember a line from Under Seige — the safest place on this ship is behind you — hats off to Mr. Seagal he is one of the few actually taking time to try to make a difference.

  • doxie mom

    I personally rank Steven Segal right up there with Chuck Norris both are very very knowledgable in their respective martial arts styles while Mr. Norris portrayed and Texas Ranger who not only used his martial arts for good also worked with children. He in real life does work with children in his community. Now Mr. Seagal is making his community better by being a law enforcement officer. I think anyone who take the oath of office to protect and serve deserve the utmost respect if they are doing a good job. Yeah… I know there are bad cops out there but there are more good ones and they are the ones that deserve our respect. If these guys are able to use their acting background along with their martial arts for the betterment of their communities then I say more power to them.

  • yungin from 91

    1st off may i just add wit all-do-respect sumone shoot mr.edgar Hoover in da beck! im 18teen & as far back as i can remember i have been a diehard fan of Da great Seagall from undersiege to the role he played as Gno and just to add is anybody hip to latest DVds that he has put out. i mean just get realist hands down dis guy better than VanDam Billyblanks Wesly and who ever else you may add get real Mr.John Edgar

  • AA mom

    JEH please go away.

    This man has made many great films and has chosen to do this show in New Orleans. If you have ever been there you know that crime and poverty in LA are far worse than in CA. Even before Katrina there was a serious problem with crime…now the problem has escallated out of control.

    I wish Mr. Seagal the very best in this endeavor and thank you to A&E for being brave enough to show it!!

  • Carolina Gal

    I’ve always liked Steven’s movies, but
    couldn’t help but notice all the weight he
    put on year after year. Come on, Steven, you’ve a nice looking man, but try and lost
    some of the weight, O.K?

  • flashbazzzbo

    Jet LI would put an unholy smackdown on the Zen master’s ass!

  • Chuck Kongo

    “If anyone doesn’t really know Steven Seagal’s background they will make idiotic comments towards him and what he has done and is currently doing.”

    You mean like his “background” in domestic violence and his pathetic fanboyish attempts to cozy up to mafia types like a starstruck groupie?

    And he was was never recruited into the “military special forces” or the CIA or any of that other nonsense he spews to make himself seem “mysterious”.

    He’s as big a fraud with that hooey as Frank Dux was.

  • LIVED SOME

    MR KONGO-MR.JEH UNTIL YOU HAVE LIVED SOME YEARS DON’T PASS JUDGEMENT ON  SOMEONES BACKGROUND.  NO MATTER WHAT A MAN HAS DONE OR NOT DONE JUDGE HIM FOR WHAT HE IS DOING NOW. WHAT ARE U 2 DOING TO MAKE A DIFFERANCE

  • Jordan Richardson

    Chuck’s just jealous because Seagal wouldn’t be his “Mojo Priest.”

  • wes

    The show is fun and remember the critic never counts!

  • Kiki

    Love the show and doubly love Steven Seagal!! How many other actors .. good or bad are out in any community doing something for themselves first and maybe the community second? How about NONE! There are lots of do gooders in Hollywood when the camera is on them, look at Brad Pitt, playing it safe.

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    Don’t get me wrong — I LOVE the show! That being said Seagal IS getting paid and A&E is making money by selling advertising. So this isn’t all rainbows and gumdrops.

    ;-)

    Bob Patterson

  • Dale

    Fantastic intro. presentation for another “Bad Boys” Cop Show. Only this time it’s a real “Bad Boy” who takes his job serious.

  • Angelique

    Growing up in my household, renting movies meant we were going to be watching Steven Seagal’s latest movie and even then, I LOVED his movies! I still enjoy those very same movies and love his new show! He is a vastly intelligent man whom I would never want to cross and the effort he puts forth to try and make a difference in this world should serve as a wake-up call to some of the other self-absorbed people inhabiting the world.

  • adam

    The show was awesome but what I was more impressed with was the biography on him. He is a fascinating man who does a lot of real life good in the world and has been doing it for years without any cameras around.

  • adam

    Here is some info for you ignorant chilish haters who post your nonsense that no one cares about. # Seagal was a 7th degree blackbelt in aikido well before he even made his first movie over 20 years ago, #2 he writes and directs a majority of the movies he’s in, #3 He has been a real life sherrif for over 20 years with no cameras around #4 he was down in new orleans after katrina pulling people out on his own and nobody knew about it, 5 he has donated millions of dollars to charities over the years and works with them on a regular basis even when no one is around 6 not only can he kick your ass blindfolded but he also is a musician who wrote and recoded a cd and has even jammed out with the great BB King. So take your ignorance elsewhere JEH, your just a punk kid.

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    Adam and others,

    I too think the show is a hit. However, his “real life” Sheriff claims are dubious at best. Depending on which accounts you read, some have him pitching this reality idea for a very long time. In fact the whole idea resulted in a lawsuit that was only recently settled. In addition, it’s alleged that he was turned down by several California police departments. If he’s been a 20-year cop in LA why apply to CA?

    Regardless, I personally believe that anything Seagal does should be taken with a grain of salt. He has a history of making extravagant claims.

    This having been noted – I do think the show is entertaining.

    Bob Patterson

  • Sue Jones

    Love the show…..Cops that love as well as
    try to help. The policemen are getting older as I am but they know their stuff. I am amazed at Seagal…he is still my Man….a sexy tough guy with a heart

  • Real cop

    As a current law enforcement officer I was extermely disappointed in this. How can you be a law enforcement officer on national television and you don’t follow the law yourself. Take a look next time it is on. He never wears his seat belt while in a vehicle. Great example you are setting. Way to go “Want a be.”

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    Real cop,

    Good observation. Perhaps he can’t get the belt around his ample girth?

  • ken

    all u guys give good arguments, but I must agree with those that say not to judge the man…I believe, steven seagal is a good man by the way he represents himself…he is a true to what he believes and actions…

    the show is good entertainment and its very interesting whether its about steven seagal or any other cop in the jefferson parish sheriffs dept…steven and all his team seems like descent guys..if you notice they handle most situations kind of light hearted unless its of a very criminal nature..when was the last time u ran into a cop and they handled it with the professionalism of his team?

    before you answer that, come to my county and get pulled over by local law enforcement- you will be glad to get off with anything they throw out you, besides their normal roadside justice… …would we honestly question his credibility if he wasn’t an actor?

  • Dogs Bite

    I have trained canines for the man. He is an incredible person.

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    Let’s be clear: I admit I’m poking fun at him. Hey – it’s reality TV! What do you expect? That having been said there is an awful lot of stories about him. He’s also perpetuated many of these stories on his own (e.g. working for the CIA, etc.).

    It also looks like that A&E and Seagal “embellished” his law enforcement credentials.

    Maybe he’s turning over a new leaf? If so great. And it’s good that he’s trying to help New Orleans. Either way I am a fan–albeit a sarcastic one.

  • Mal

    The cable channels have been running this in the UK and I have found it compulsive and hilarious viewing. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoyed his early films… well, maybe just his first film, but the man has an ego the size of a planet.

    The whole show is clearly a series of exaggerations and PR spin, starting with the real extent of his involvement with that police department and progressing through what is essentially an adult version of imaginative play that the full-time cops allow him to indulge himself in. He has some skills and ability but the huge immodesty with which he promotes himself is completely at odds with his spiritual and martial arts claims.

    The funniest bits for me are when his bulky crew’s SUV turns up at the end of a column of police vehicles and a roiling mass of real cops parts to reveal a squashed and well-tasered perp who is then treated to a Seagal homily. This is always delivered in a voice like a stoned jazzman reading aloud from a wall sampler that has been embroidered by a mail-order Zen monk.

    I don’t know why the criminals panic when Steven fixes them with the Bionic Eye. All they have to do is run, or even walk briskly in the opposite direction and there’s as much chance of him catching them as there is of a Dalek climbing a flight of stairs.

    I really do hope they keep airing the series. It brightens the recessionary gloom and should be compulsory viewing for all martial arts students as a lesson in what self-discipline and spiritually are NOT about.

  • http://strikingthoughts.wordpress.com/ Bob Patterson

    That may be the best comment I’ve received all season. It’s very likely that I will quote you in my season 1 review.

    -B

  • Parthan_at_work

    Amazing reviews all of my views on Steven Seagal are substantiated by your work