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Home » TV Review: Saturday Night Live, October 29, 2005- Lance Armstrong & Sheryl Crow

TV Review: Saturday Night Live, October 29, 2005- Lance Armstrong & Sheryl Crow

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Saturday Night Live will forever be bad mouthed. It’s not good like back in the 70s, or some such nonsense. It would be nearly impossible for it to be shocking and new in the way it was 30 years ago.

But in fact the show is running pretty strong this season. The Weekend Update runs particularly good with the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler grrl power running strong. Their segment guessing whether bitchy disses against their rivals were from pop idiot Lindsay Lohan or respected columnist Maureen Dowd was particularly sweet. In fact, their Maureen Dowd quotes were far pettier, bitchier and more high-school.

They hit a specially inspired moment of absurdity in the newscast with some freaky footage of Kenan Thompson as Aunt Jemima cast apparently as an Islamic terrorist sweetly wishing pancakes on the infidels. That was delightfully far out- though I’m still not sure what it meant.

For over ten years, Darrell Hammond has proven to be perhaps their most irreplaceable man ever. He extends his run with refinement of his Bill O’Reilly spin. He’s the only person I’ve seen who has managed to effectively satirize this seemingly rich target. He gets him in his physical mannerisms and stock quotes, but also in his absurdly arrogant and militant stupidity.

Host Lance Armstrong was competent, but mostly did not seem to inspire the most interesting writing- except for one piece with his fiancee and musical guest Sheryl Crow.

Actually, Crow as herself provided the basis for two of the best sketches. She was the guest on an Indigo Girls tv show. It was a pretty good exercise to see how much they could milk their cheesy lefty folk singer schtick without really ever going into easy, obvious lesbian stuff at all. Instead, they got good mileage out of professional rivalry, and arguments over harmony singing. Also, they had to stop repeatedly to give out URLs for women’s rights groups representing, among others, women with moustaches.

But the funniest thing all night was her sketch with Armstrong. She’s just arriving home from a long tour, and Lance Armstrong insists on playing her this song he’s written for her- with musical accompaniment by the gardeners. Armstrong’s song was of course actively and purposely hideous, as he’s pronouncing himself now her equal as a songwriter.

The thing that made it so funny is that Armstrong’s stupid song proposing that they move to Africa so that Sherl Crow can be his “Nubian princess” was a more memorable, moving and interesting piece of music than his woman’s “real” songs. Sheryl Crow is just awful, the very textbook definition of mediocrity.

I would have been throwing stuff at the screen if those utterly flavorless corporate country folk rock food products had been in any way memorable. As it was though, the songs were so boring that my mind drifted away to random thoughts mid-song before the annoyance could build to the activity of blasting that tv with a 20 gauge shotgun in the blessed name of Elvis.

How awful is Sheryl Crow’s music? It’s so bad that I came back to the computer after this show and listened to some Mariah Carey to get the taste out of my mouth. Seriously, this Crow crap made “We Belong Together” start to sound personal and uncalculated. Sheryl Crow makes Mariah Carey start to sound like soul music.

I’m sure that Ms Crow’s a fine human being, however. I’m sure she’ll be a great wife for Mr Armstrong. I hope she bears him many fine beautiful children that will keep her busy and away from music.

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  • http://withduerespect.blogspot.com/ JCB

    I think you are being to harsh on Ms. Crow. She has certainly had very fine moments like her debut album and her rare rendition of Led Zeppellin’s Dyer Maker. Definitely, not all her music is crap.

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    JCB, if anything, I’m too generous to Ms Crow- though I will grant that I haven’t listened to her very closely.

    Short version, she had ONE half-listenable song. It had a couple of half decent hooks, though it lacked any soul or any hint of musical innovation that would make it memorable. That was a pretty long time ago at that. Playing a bar or so of that in the Indigo Girls sketch was WAY the height of her musical performance last night.

    Other than that, I know I’ve heard a number of songs from successive albums, but not a thing the least bit memorable.

    Perhaps I’d be surprised, but I find it extremely unlikely that this wimpette would do anything worthwhile with a Led Zeppelin song. Tori Amos- si! Sheryl Crow- IXNAY.

  • http://musical-guru.blogspot.com Michael J. West

    I’m sure that Ms Crow’s a fine human being, however.

    Absolutely! She, for example, would probably never abandon three children and a spouse who had nursed her through cancer so she could take up with Sheryl Crow — I mean, Lance Armstrong!

  • S

    FOREVER LADY

  • http://www.iamcorrect.com Lono

    I enjoyed the show, and find it roughly as strong this season as it has been anytime over the years. Bashing SNL in the media is aking to every damn reporter here citing that every single other sports star in history is ‘no John Elway’.

    I like Sheryl Crow. She is hot, and her music is not bad. Best joke of the night was the piece during the news update (which truly does anchor and carry the show these days) Tina Fey referenced a report about men who smoke have less children. Right after that, in passing, she dropped in ‘especially those men who smoke polls’.

    holy crap how did that get to air? That was some seriously funny and mean satire. That is the stuff America wants to hear.

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Oh yeah, forgot about those men “smoking poles.” Slipped that one in real casual in passing, didn’t she?

  • http://hennessyandco@yahoo.com ostrova

    SNL stopped being funny a very long time ago but it is one of the great showcases for product such as Sheryl Crow, whose songs are sort of Gap jeans for your ears. Her boyfriend is a phenomenal athlete with questionable personal ethics. And BTW I didn’t watch.

  • WILLA

    I CANNOT STAND THAT UGLY BUZZARD OR CROW AS SHE CALLS HERSELF. SHE’S FULL OF HERSELF, POMPOUS AND A LIBERAL ASS. MUSICALLY SHE REEKS, AND I WISH SHE WOULD FLY AWAY WITH HER BEAU AND GIVE US ALL A BREAK. BESIDES SHE HAS HAD SOME MAJOR PLASTIC SURGERY. SHE WAS AN ABSOLUTE DOGFACE.

  • http://www.morethings.com/log Al Barger

    Yes Lono. As to satire, Hammond’s Bill O’Reilly is particularly effective. A lot of the stuff on SNL is more ribbing people. His Chris Matthews is cute parody that Matthews himself is naturally very proud of.

    The O’Reilly stuff, however, really does make the bastard look bad. You can believe that Bill O’Reilly does not enjoy what they’re doing to him. Ha!

    Willa, I share your disdain for Sheryl Crow’s music, but you have to admit that she’s pretty hot. I mean, c’mon. If she’s had plastic surgery, then it must have worked.

  • http://bonamassablog.us Joanie

    I’m not a Crow fan in the least and spared myself the bile that surely would have come had I watched this episode. Now, I wish I had. Sounds like there were a few pearls to be found amongst the pork rinds.

  • Cycle Friendly

    Wow – that’s quite a nasty jab at Lance at the end of your article (I’m not going to say much about Cheryl, but I couldn’t agree more with your comments – when I think of Cheryl in ANY way I think of fingernails down a chalkboard). Cheryl might find it hard to bear Lances children – that’s one of the fallouts of testicular cancer. Although Lance had some of his semen frozen prior to his surgery I still think it’s a jab at Lance. Booooooooo!!!!! :o(

  • http://lschinaia@aol.com Laurencia7

    hey does anyone have, or know of a site where I can find the “Days of our Lives” sketch?

    PLEASE email me

  • The Producer

    Of all the music to come out of the ’90s, Sheryl Crow’s work has to be near the top of the list of great musicians to blossom. She’s a brilliant songwriter, and she has the awards (grammy’s anyone?) and critical acclaim (well, of real critics anyway) to back that up. She’s still a strong musical force (Good is Good would be proof of that) and to say she’s not is evidence of poor taste in music/style.

    However, it would seem that the majority of reviews here are just senseless rips at the successful. So certainly any subject of these reviews takes them with a grain of salt. If that.

  • B

    Lance Armstrong should stick to bicycle racing. the funniest part of the show was the intro, with Darrel Hammond playing the Vice President. from there the show went downhill all the way. usually the guest host delivers a monologue, but stooge papparazzi and other sorts had to be inserted in the audience to have dialogue with him. and even that was not funny. Armstrong is definitely not comedic. he seems like a rather boring guy, and Crow’s music was equally boring, so I guess they’re perfect for each other. but then how can one write anything other than boring love songs if the lover and loved one boring?

  • Kazim

    Guys, is it possible to get a taping of this Lance SNL episode? I really need it! Will check back here soon.
    Thanks.