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TV Review: Rock the Cradle – Week 5

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MTV's reality series Rock the Cradle pits the children of superstar musicians against one another to determine who has what it takes to be the next rock star. The nine original celebrity offspring featured on Rock the Cradle were:

  • Olivia Newton-John's daughter Chloe Rose Lattanzi
  • Kenny Loggins' son Crosby Loggins
  • Joe Walsh's (The Eagles) daughter Lucy Walsh
  • Al B. Sure's son Lil Al B. Sure
  • Dee Snider's (Twisted Sister) son Jesse Blaze Snider
  • Tom Johnston's (Doobie Brothers) daughter Lara Johnston
  • MC Hammer's daughter Akeiba Burrell Hammer
  • Bobby Brown's son Landon Brown

Jesse Money was voted off after week one. Akeiba Hammer was voted off after week two. Lil B. Sure and Landon Brown were voted off after week three. Lara Johnston and Lucy Walsh were voted off after week four but were required to sing one song during this week anyway.

This week, the judges picked the songs for the remaining contestants to sing. The judges are: Belinda Carlisle of the Go-Go's, choreographer Jamie King (the stage presence judge — Brian Friedman filled in tonight), June Ambrose (the style/image judge), and Larry Rudolph (performance judge). The host is Ryan Devlin.

Crosby Loggins sang Weezer's "Beverly Hills" for his first song. He said, "If I can't find a way to let go then I don't deserve to win this competition." He came out of his shell a bit but has a long way to go to be considered a rocker.

Crosby's second song was "Over My Head (Cable Car)" by The Fray. This time he played the piano while he sang and performed really well. Crosby is by far the most well rounded performer, even if he doesn't jump around the stage and strip off his clothes. He received a score of 38 for this performance.

Jesse Blaze Snider, who thinks he deserves the world on a platter, sang Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl." This man cannot sing. He did tell Belinda that he should have kept his mouth shut (after having been filmed saying, "Belinda telling me I'm a fake punk is like Hitler telling me I'm a Nazi"). However, in the fifth week of the competition, it's a little late for him to pretend he has any humility.

Jesse's second song was, "Prisoner of Society" by The Living End. Jesse cannot keep his pitch, does not have a wide range of notes he can hit, and basically is a poor vocalist. He did take his shirt off again and did another back flip. That's really all he has going for him in my opinion. He received a score of 39 from the judges.

Chloe Lattanzi was forced to sing Britney Spears' "Toxic." It sent her running to her father's teepee to refocus. I can't explain that statement any further. You really had to see the show to understand. This song was an absolute horror. I love Chloe's voice. It's unusual and raw, certainly not a Britney type. I think she sounded terrible, but once again, the judges think she did swell.

Chloe's second song was "The First Cut is the Deepest" by Sheryl Crow. I think Chloe was so astounded that she had NOT been voted off that she was unable to put herself fully into this song. She received a score of 32.

Lara Johnston sang "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie. I had previously been unimpressed by Lara but she really turned it out for this song. She has a much larger voice than her petite demeanor would indicate. She was voted off the show after this performance.

Lucy Walsh sang "My Immortal" by Evanescensce. This is a beautiful song that had some poignancy for Lucy. As such, her voice sounded more nasal than normal. I was one of her biggest fans until this performance. Unfortunately, I do not think she handled the song well. The judges thought she did wonderfully, however, proving yet again that my taste does not reflect anything of importance. She was voted off after this performance.

The viewing audience must now call, go to the website, or text in to vote for the ultimate winner of this competition. You can view recaps of the episode and vote online.

My suspicion is that true talent will be overlooked and Jesse Blaze Snider, with his awful voice and commensurate personality will win this contest.

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About Alexandria Jackson

  • Jim

    I usually like Crosby, but he totally sang thru his nose and ruined a great Fray song.
    Chloe ROCKED on Toxic! GREAT showmanship as well.
    Jesse just has to go work on a cruise ship or someting.

  • Cathy McCormick

    Let’s not let true talent be overlooked! Vote for Crosby … all day long. Polls are open for another 20+ hours!! VOTE CROSBY TO WIN!

  • RRRRRRR

    Rolling stone gave a real review. This is just a summery. RS says it sucks and they are right about that!!!!!!!