Friends, Gossip Girls, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Bart Bass, not to praise him
Yes, apparently bad, old Bart Bass is dead. It wasn’t confirmed on air, but someone was slated to die, he had an accident, and Josh Schwartz killed off the exact same character when he was running The OC.
How exactly it is possible to have a life threatening accident while riding in the back seat of a limousine, while driving slowly in city traffic? You’ve got me; I guess we’ll have to wait until next week to find out.
Does anyone really care how this affects Lily? She is clearly slated to get back on the Rufus train. To Bart’s credit the lie she caught him in wasn’t really a lie, but he did manage to blame his treachery on his son, which should lead to years of Chuck Bass angst and millions of dirty deeds. Let’s put it this way, I’m guessing that the Bart Bass realty empire is slated to be making a huge investment in the porn industry.
Chuck and Blair finally back together
It’s the Senior Snowflake Charity Ball! An event, which just happens to be in a 1000 way tie for Blair’s ultimate, favorite socialite event of the year!
Despite the fact that two star-crossed lovers picking each other’s date has been done at least as far back as when Sam and Diane did it disastrously on Cheers, it was good to see these guys back together steaming up the screen. Props to Chuck for finding perhaps the first sparkling black tuxedo that I’ve ever seen not worn by Wayne Newton.
The third best character on the show
Can we take a moment to laud the awesomeness that is Blair’s nanny Derota? She’s clearly the best parent on the show, it isn’t even close. In a show that is built on shock value, I was overcome with panic at the thought that Blair would ever for a second offer Derota’s services up for a month to Chuck in a stupid bet. That said, it would have been fun to see Blair’s accompanying nervous breakdown if Chuck had actually taken over the reins of Blair’s lifeline. I’m a slave 4 U indeed!
Nate chooses… Vanessa!!??!!
Nooooooooo! I can’t begin to express how awful this was. Vanessa stealing Nate’s letter to Jenny was infinitely worse than Jenny’s see-through dress revenge. Sure, Vanessa came clean (far too late), but my hate for Vanessa remains as hot and furious as the sun. Why couldn’t Vanessa and Dan have been driving home in Bart Bass’ limo?
Jenny versus the mini-Blairs
It looks like Jenny has abandoned the fashion world. There was a strong implication that she will be returning to school and jumping back into the petty, social backbiting waters that she so badly failed at last year. Very disappointing.
Rufus and Lily
In a show all about romance, this couple is the only one that has any real, gentle, loving quality to it. Too bad silly plot devices will probably keep them apart for at least another two seasons.
The most boring main couple in television history
“Dan is going to be taking a ride on the Lexicoaster.”
Will Dan be seduced by Aaron’s slutty ex?
Will Serena sleep with Aaron to fight back?
Will there be a lot of hemming and hawing and apologies and sort of tender moments?
Does anyone alive care about Serena and Dan anymore?
Me? Not very much!
See ya, Bart it was fun.