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TV Review: Gossip Girl – “Carrnal Knowledge”

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Sorry about the lateness of this post. My New Year’s resolution is to get my Gossip Girl recaps up from now on by Wednesday at the latest.

Now for the good news — what an amazing episode!

Imagine this — Chuck gets slipped a date rape drug and finds out that his father had been a part of a murderous, sex-drenched, secret society. That’s not even the fifth most interesting thing about this episode.

Oh and of course, Dan and Serena broke up due to miscommunication yet again… yawn.

Let’s start with the sort of fired Miss Carr. No matter how pure your intentions (and we eventually found out that they weren’t so pure in this case), you don’t meet students for coffee (especially ones who you are not even teaching), and you certainly don’t let students call you by your first name.

Look, this woman is a loser. You risk, and then ruin, your entire career for Dan Humphrey? I could see if it were Nate or Chuck, but Dan Humphrey?

How stupid can you be? You’ve just been accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a student. Do you really then meet said student for coffee two hours later? Face it, Miss Carr is so stupid that she actually thinks that Dan is a good writer!

Blair loses, then wins, then loses

I wasn’t really that disappointed in Blair’s willingness to lie in order to take down her new “I’m-going-to-fight-you-to-the-death enemy,” but frankly I was pretty disappointed in how rudely she treated Derota during her detention imposed community service. Having Derota do the trash cleanup was funny, but being a bitch to her while she did it was inexcusable.

In the end, Blair seemingly saved Yale for herself, but having her beloved father find out what a manipulative Machiavellian daughter he had made it a huge Pyrrhic victory. Then again, it’s Blair. I know daddy’s been off in France for a while with his gay lover, but c’mon you know Blair came out of the crib that way. How could he have not known? Of course, had Blair’s father been Bart Bass, Bart would have thrown her a party.

Backstabbed by Nelly

Perfectly set up and totally believable. Blair should have known that when you go “Black Ops” the only one you can truly trust is Derota.

Mini-Blairs go through cell phone withdrawal

Hilarious

The headmistress is a tool

She has always known about the Gossip Girl website, but figured as long as it only gossiped about students that it was fine. Seriously? That thing is practically a porn site that ruins at least one student’s life a day. How ignorant can the headmistress possibly be?

Mary Kay Letourneau is referenced

Props to me for anticipating it in last week’s recap.

Dan and Miss Carr get it on

Yuck. I may not be able to eat for a week.

Nate and Vanessa get it on

Make that a month. 

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