Because nothing good ever happens when we hear that song, the Prince makes his way to the other room, passing his hand over an open candle flame that was just too cool. Words are exchanged and before you know it, the hot-headed Oberyn sticks a blade into the wrist of one of the soldiers, then passionately kisses Ellaria (lucky lady). Things come to a screeching halt when Tyrion interrupts, asking the Prince for a word. When the men step outside, Tyrion cuts to the chase and asks the Prince why he is in King’s Landing. Oberyn breaks it down to Tyrion, explaining that he wants revenge for the death of his sister Elia, who was married to Prince Rhaegar Targaryen and brutally killed by Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane, pyscho brother to The Hound. (Did you get all of that?) Says the Red Viper to the Lion, “Tell your father I’m here. And tell him the Lannisters aren’t the only ones who pay their debts.” Prince Oberyn will be the one to watch this season.
On the road to Mereen (yet another slaver city), Dany is taking a break with her “babies,” and I use that term loosely. Those dragons are getting big! Drogon, the biggest and baddest one, is sucking up all of Mommy Dany’s affection, while Rhaegal and Viserion fight over food. Drogon joins the fray, which turns into a free-for-all. Dany tries to quiet her kiddies, but Drogon does what most kids do when they get too big for their britches and snaps at his mother, shocking her. Just then, Ser Jorah butts in and says the obvious thing, “They’re dragons Khaleesi, they can never be tamed. Not even by their mother.” We’ll see about that, Ser Jorah. They don’t call Dany the Mother of Dragons for nothing. Annoyed and ready to go, Dany notices that Daario Naharis and Grey Worm are nowhere to be found. She and her Girl Friday Missandei find the two soldiers playing the GOT version of Chicken. But wait, who’s that guy with Grey Worm? Where’s Sellsword Hottie Daario? Egads! He’s being played by a different actor (the also very handsome Michiel Huisman), sporting shorter hair and a beard. So I guess that makes him Sellsword Hottie 2.0? Dany lets both men know that whomever is the last one holding their sword will no longer count her as his Queen. Needless to say, they both drop their swords, and quickly.
Back in King’s Landing, Shae is trying to get poor Sansa to eat something, anything. But who cares about eating? Sansa’s brother and mother have been murdered, her home has been destroyed, she was forced to marry a man considered to be the family joke, and the Lannisters are pressuring her husband to get her pregnant. Forgive me if I think food is the last thing Sansa should be worrying about right now. Tyrion arrives and tries to get her to eat, as well. But Sansa can only think about how Robb and Catelyn were killed, going into great detail about what happened to them at The Twins. Tyrion tries to console her, telling his wife that Robb seemed like a good man, and that he admired her mother. “She wanted to have me executed, but I admired her,” Tyrion says, trying to bring a little lightness to a very morbid subject. But Sansa excuses herself and heads to the Godswood, which she says “is the only place where people don’t talk to me.”
In his room, Tyrion finds a jealous Shae, who tries to convince her Lion that he needs to relax. Unfortunately, Halfman has no desire, well, for anything. Shae gets upset, telling Tyrion that if he wants her to leave he should just say it. He claims innocence, but when she asks him if he wants Shae to stay, he clams up, giving her the answer she neither wants nor needs. To make matters worse, there’s a spy hanging around Tyrion’s room, who works for, you guessed it, Cersei.
The Queen Regent is in her quarters, watching her brother as he’s fitted with a golden hand and drinking. Qyburn formerly known as Maester assists Jaime with the hand, commenting on the craftsmanship. Once he’s done, Qyburn checks in with Cersei regarding her “symptoms,” and then leaves the twins to talk alone. Jaime sees a change in his love, saying that something has changed. Cersei informs her dear brother that yes everything has, in fact, changed. “You come back after all this time with one hand and no apologies and expect everything to be the same?” Confused, Jaime wants to know why he should be apologizing. Cersei being the drama Queen Regent she always is, says, “For leaving me.” Seriously? Leave it to Cersei to make someone feel guilty for being held captive.
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