By the old gods and the new, our friends in Westeros have returned! That’s right, Game of Thrones is back and has already begun with what we love best: intrigue, betrayal, lust, murder and, of course, dragons. So before we waste another minute, let’s begin shall we?
The show opens with a steely-eyed Tywin having Ned Stark’s Valyrian-steel sword Ice melted down, a fur pelt then tossed into the fire. Tywin watches them burn with a satisfied smirk on his face. The Lannisters seem to be on top after the massacre at The Twins, all but ensuring their hold on the North and the rest of the Seven Kingdoms. Tywin, in all his golden glory, decides to have Ice forged into two swords, one for favorite son Jaime and the other for Brat King Joffrey. Ice was first seen in the series premiere of GOT when Ned delivered the North’s justice to a deserter of the Night’s Watch. Ice was a glorious thing to behold and to see it being destroyed while hearing “The Rains of Castamere” playing in the background just made the affair all the more sad. Later, Tywin offers Jaime one of the blades, which seems a bit weird since his son has lost his sword hand. But Tywin doesn’t offer something for nothing, and tells his Jaime he expects him to move to Casterly Rock and rule in his father’s place. Jaime being Jaime basically tells Daddy Dearest that he’s not going anywhere and will continue to protect Joffrey as a member of the King’s Guard. He’s already been considered an oath breaker and will not break another one. We all know that’s a lie, Jaime just wants to stay next to his twin and lover, Cersei (I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that description).
On the King’s Road, Tyrion, Bronn and sex god Podrick (another description I can’t get used to) are waiting for the arrival of Prince Doran Martell of Dorne. As they wait for the Prince to arrive, Bronn is his usual sarcastic self, wondering why Tyrion is tasked with meeting the Prince instead of someone else. Tyrion reluctantly tells his friend that there is bad blood between the Martells and Lannisters, leading Bronn to figure out that if the Martells want to kill anyone, it may as well be his short friend. Tyrion, already not feeling the love after discovering several plots to kill him, feels even less loved when the Prince’s entourage arrives with no Prince Doran.
Tyrion and Co. are rudely informed that Prince Doran is unwell and remains at Sun Spear while his younger brother Prince Oberyn (the excellent Pedro Pascal), has already arrived in his stead. Cut to one of Littlefinger’s pleasure houses, where The Red Viper (a nickname given to Prince Oberyn thanks to his reputation for poisoning his weapons) and his paramour Ellaria Sand (Indira Varma) are choosing their playthings for the day. Before the fun begins, Oberyn hears a soldier singing the Lannister theme song, “The Rains of Castamere.”
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