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TV Review: Bones – “The Goop on the Girl”

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Christmas bells are ringing, and it's time for the holiday Bones episode! Every year they have a nice heartwarming story for everyone's favorite crime fighters, and this one was amusing since it also included a sweet family reunion for one of the actors. Emily Deschanel's little sister Zooey Deschanel shows up as her cousin Margaret, and the writers were probably giggling as they wrote all the characters pointing out that the two of them could be sisters. Yes. We know they could. Because they are. Ha ha. They are such dorks.

Someone dressed up as Santa Claus tries to rob a bank with a bomb strapped to his chest. Booth goes to deal with the robbery and something sets off the bomb, causing the man to explode. Booth and another witness, Georgia, are taken in by the Squints to take evidence (aka blood splatters and body parts) off their clothes. This leads to an incredibly awkward and hilarious scene where Brennan strips Booth down to his boxers. They used this in the preview for the episode, and who can blame them? For one, there is the burning sexual chemistry between them, for two Booth is very much aware he loves Brennan now, and for three David Boreanaz likes to work out. This is a Christmas gift to the viewer who enjoys eye candy.

Naturally Brennan is too much in her scientific world to think much on the fact he's half naked, and she asks him to come to her house for Christmas. Her father asked her to stay and invited her cousin Margaret so they could have a 'family' dinner, and she'd like Booth to be there. He's a little too distracted by the whole being half naked around the love of his life. Cam comes in and lets them know the bomber was doped with some anti-anxiety meds and there was citrus in his nostrils. Leave them alone, Cam.

They figure out the bomb was remotely detonated and they trace it to an area where a guy with an anti-government radio show lives. The radio guy is trained in explosives, but denies any responsibility in the matter. There are bones missing so they go looking for the cab driver, and a woman calls in saying it was her son. She has no idea what happened to him. Another red herring comes in from a former bomb expert who got out of jail, but it's a test used by Hodgins that puts it all together. Cam goes "Eureka!" and recognizes the black on his hands from putting the bomb together. It was on the witness Georgia. She is brought in and swears she didn't set it off, but she's clearly guilty of something. Focusing on the taxi driver from the event makes it obvious he reacted before the bomb was even set off, so the culprits are found. They were in on it together!

Brennan struggles with her new cousin and doesn't like her very much. Margaret is just as dry as she is and quirky as well, always quoting Benjamin Franklin. She considers going away for Christmas, but eventually decides to stay. The cast joins her for the holiday dinner, and Margaret makes a few references to Booth and Brennan hooking up, but as always they taunt us. You know there's a rumor going around that they had planned on getting those two crazy kids together, but the higher ups were nervous it would ruin the show and told them to draw it out longer. This may or may not be true, but grow a set already, Bones writers. Have faith in the show and the characters and the fans.

This was a nice episode, but the case was mostly ignored to make it all about the holiday, and it wasn't quite as emotional as "The Santa in the Slush" or even "The Man in the Fallout Shelter." And if Zooey was going to be a special guest star, she really should've been better than that. She was a weirder, less interesting version of Brennan and the few lines she had were too deadpan to even be amusing. It would've been nice for Brennan's cousin to be very personable and different from her, so maybe she'd really shake up the family dynamic.

Best part of the episode: Come on. Brennan stripping Booth down. It was fan service and totally worth it.

Worst part of the episode: Cam telling her foster daughter that she could go to Hawaii and then refusing at the last minute. She should have said something earlier and saved them both excitement and money, plus if the girl wants to be with her maternal grandparents she probably should be allowed to. Bad timing on that one, Cam.

Bones is not back until January so enjoy the holiday hiatus!

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About Chelsea Doyle