Season five of Bones is officially back in full swing now, and the newest case is rather complicated. "The Bond in the Boot" starts with the James Bond theme and some great spy music as a guy with a mysterious gray briefcase stands in a parking lot, smoking. Another man attacks him and shoots him, because the first guy was silly enough to bring a knife to a gun fight! The briefcase is then removed from his hand by a knife — ouch — and the attacker drives away in a killer silver car. As he's driving away — and running over his victim, which is so overkill — someone shoots at his car. End scene. This was a different opening than what we're used to; rarely do they show the murder ahead of time.
There are cats taking their morning meal from the dead man's body, and that is suitably stomach-turning for everyone. Brennan asks them to take the kitties, who are remarkably calm for feral cats, to the Jeffersonian. They need their droppings. Oh, Hodgins, you have the best job ever. They analyze the scene and chat about how Brennan's book did so well that they got her a new watch. She made enough money to be comfortable for the rest of her life, and Booth seems a little off about it. He also complains that he forgot how to do his own plumbing and refuses to pay $800 dollars for a plumber. Booth, you alpha male you!
Intern of the week is Wendell, the blond boy who started out his job there thinking Brennan was coming on to him. He certainly gets along the best with the Squints, and he even goes out drinking with Hodgins. Could he be set up now as the permanent intern? Nah, they'll probably keep with the revolving door because it works. Still, he's the first intern to get a real story here. Cam is upset because it turns out his intern scholarship was lost, and he has no way to stay there since he's poor. The gang decides to look for new scholarships so they can keep him, and keep him in the dark until then.
Booth is approached by a State Department employee about the murder and reveals that the dead guy is a courier named Antonov. He was supposed to bring important diamonds in, but Booth points out he got a diplomatic passport, and no one knows why. They question a pretty blond woman named Lena who appears to work with the business that hired Antonov. She talks about the diamonds but wonders if he was moving something else instead. Dum-dum-duuuum! Meanwhile at the lab they figure out that the car the killer had was the Casino Royale silver car, the James Bond one. All the men are classically delighted by this. When they find the car, they find a CIA agent stuffed dead in the trunk. Two murders now for the price of one — classic. On a personal level, Booth plans to get Plumbing for Dummies, and Sweets suggests that Brennan let Booth 'teach' her how to be a plumber so he can feel they're on equal ground again.
They meet the CIA Assistant Director, Rutledge, and he's right away the opposite of helpful. He looks down on them and seems to be boiling underneath the surface with anger. The corpse in the car is Greg Dorit, an analyst not an agent, and he reveals to Booth that Dorit was supposed to watch online for any coded material about terrorist attacks or things like that. Dorit's girlfriend Mandy tells Booth that Dorit made trouble for everyone because he was outspoken, and that a criminal he put away named Marquez just got out. Hello, Marquez, we shall call thee red herring and put thee aside.
Wendell notices that there are marks on the body that looks like Dorit was tortured. If he had the case it was probably the reason for it, but no one can find the case. Brennan tells Wendell about his scholarship and he looks absolutely devastated. Ugh. A blow right to the heart. Brennan does agree to let Booth teach her plumbing and he seems very excited with the prospect. Probably because it could turn romantic since they're in loooove. Oh right, they haven't said that yet. Stupid show.
Dorit's girlfriend admits he broke up with her via e-mail and she had him bugged to find out why. They start to think CIA jerk Rutledge is behind all of this. Angela finds a coded message in Dorit's e-mail, so he wasn't breaking up with her after all. He was trying to tell her something! They do cross Rutledge off the list, and have only a few minutes left to figure out what happened to Dorit before they take his body away. Wendell becomes the man of the hour, his last hurrah you could say, and figures out how the man was tortured before he died. This leads them to conclude a laser caused some of the marks, and that Lena (the diamond lady) could have done it. She admits to it, and says Dorit was remarkably brave since she tortured him badly.
They find the briefcase using information Dorit put in that e-mail, but we have no idea what it turns out to be. They find a USB inside, and then the CIA shuffles it off. What? Hey, maybe this will come back sometime. That'd be great. Wendell gets to stay because of an 'anonymous donor' who saves his scholarship. He knows someone at the lab did it and thanks them all, which is best since it looks like Brennan, Hodgins, and even Cam might have donated the money. Apparently they got three times as much as they needed. Awww. Just keep the kid as a main character, he has great chemistry with the cast.
In the end, Booth and Brennan try to fix his plumbing. He says he's glad they don't have secrets (LIES!) and she says something suitably cute in response. Is anyone else getting a little tired of this five-year foreplay? Are they really that scared of the show being over if they get them together? We're all on board, okay, Bones, just do it!
Best part of the episode: Wendell gets to stay!
Worst part of the episode: We've seen hundreds of cute Booth/Brennan scenes. Step it up!