Whew, okay, the Bones writers do not often make things so difficult for recappers, but this week was a doozy of guest characters and possible suspects. The crime takes place in a suburban neighborhood where the bright smiles and polite demeanor of the neighbors are just masks they wear. Inside there is corruption, sexual misconduct, and murder! During a luau they find a body underneath the pig as it is cooked, and the Squint Squad is called in.
Little Parker is back for the week and he's as adorable as ever. He's quickly handed off to Angela for fun (we'd all rather hang out with Angela than see bodies), and Booth and Brennan focus on the case. Brennan chatters about the cultural aspects of suburbia, and Cam interjects to tell a story about how her neighbor cut his grass wrong and they set fire to his garage. Wow. Seriously, is anyone else suddenly disinterested in ever moving to those 'safe' neighborhood areas? Between this show and Weeds it doesn't paint a very nice picture of that world.
Alright, so here's the breakdown of the neighbors: James and Nate, the two gay men with the BBQ pit; Trey, the hot gardener; Mary Kay, Bob, and Paige Sayles, the 'happy' family; the victim's wife, Kelly; and Elliot and Paula, who hate living in the suburbs. This starts to get as convoluted as you expect, but the end result makes up for it.
First they talk to the victim Kurt's wife, and she admits that they were shunned in the neighborhood. He put up a wind turbine and everyone on the block hated it. This turns out to be just the tip of the iceberg with Kurt's no-nos. He also gave the gay couple's dog a chocolate laxative and almost killed him. Then he slept with, like … every female on the block. But we're getting there.
Arastoo is the intern of the week, a devout Muslim, and it turns out he's been faking a Middle Eastern accent all along. This sends Cam freaking out, and Sweets gently talks him down. It turns out he pretends to be a foreigner because it is harder for people to accept he's an American scientist who is still very devout. If he pretends to be a foreign Muslim, people just accept him as different. In the end he admits everything and the Squints tease him but accept his wishes in the end. Aww…
Back to the case, however. There are multiple wounds on the victim's body and they each tell a different story. Neighbor Elliot hates the suburbs and they found a bullet in the pit, so he admits it was his gun. He went out to shoot a pig himself and bring it back, but he got so upset he vomited. His reason to kill Kurt is that he charged $5,000 for an extra phone line and ripped everyone off. Things get a little complicated when it's revealed that the gardener Trey was sleeping with Elliot's wife Paula. Kurt knew about it so they could've killed him to keep it quiet. Paula just laughs at that and points out Elliot couldn't even kill a pig, and Kurt was sleeping around with several other people so it didn't matter.
Two of these people include Mary Kay and her daughter Paige. Wow, Kurt really got around. This obviously puts Bob in the spotlight since his wife and daughter were Kurt's lovers. He says he would've killed Kurt had he known, and no one would blame him (Brennan disagrees), but he had no idea. They find saltpeter, which is a blood thinner, in Kurt's blood. It's supposed to keep men from getting excited too often, or so the old legend goes, and Kelly gave it to him so he'd stop cheating. What it did was thin his blood so that the small superficial wounds that they find on his body could have killed him easily.
Now it's about putting the three distinct wounds on Kurt's body together, and they realize there isn't just one murderer, but three. Earlier in the episode the only people who had solid alibis were Mary Kay, Elliot, and James because they were biking together, but one of the wounds came from a biking shoe, so they put it all together. Sweets thinks it may have been a suburban society reaction to the windmill and all of their individual problems with Kurt. Plus they intended just to hurt him, not to kill him, but the blood thinners ruined that. Case solved! Anyone else still confused? Anyone?
Another cute side story in this episode is Parker trying to talk all the women of the show into dating Booth. Sweets suggests that maybe he needs to see his dad being successful with women so he is reassured he will too when he's older. Booth asks Brennan to hang with him and pretend she's having fun so Parker relaxes, but Brennan is too smart to do that manipulative stuff. She just asks Parker straight out what the dealio is, and he says his friend got a pool when his dad got a new girlfriend. So he just wants a pool. Ha! That's adorable. More Parker, please. He's cute and both Booth and Brennan are very cute when he's around. Brennan gives them the keys to the pool in her building, and everyone is happy. And they still haven't kissed yet. Ahhhh! They're so waiting until the mid-season ending, aren't they? Jerks.
Best part of the episode: Parker saying someone needs to sex up his dad. Ha! From the mouth of babes.
Worst part of the episode: Never, ever, ever moving to the suburbs now. And it looked so pretty at the beginning!