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TV Review: American Idol 6 – Tony Bennett Week Results

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I am upset. No, scratch that, I am pissed.

I can't believe what happened.

What is wrong with the voters? Have they lost their minds? How in the hell can Phil or Haley still be in the competition? Forget Sanjaya for a moment since for now he's everyone's little darling, but how can someone other than Phil or Haley go home?

Nearly everything in the episode spelled disaster. The only saving grace was perhaps the usually irritating Ford ad. It actually wasn't bad this time, especially since it had Kermit the Frog, who I think is just adorable.

But everything went downhill from there. When I saw that the contestants were grouped in three groups of 3, I thought, "Uh oh". Ryan explained that one group was the Top 3, the second group the Middle 3, and the third group the Bottom 3. A sinking feeling came over me when I saw who was grouped together.

Sanjaya was obviously safe since he was with Chris and Blake. No shock, but still very disappointing. Ryan then walked over to Gina, Haley, and Phil, and that really pissed me off. Gina did not belong between those two twits, and she looked miserable. Haley looked defeated and ready to go home as usual, while Phil continued to smile with those giant teeth of his. Then when Ryan walked over to Melinda, Jordin, and LaKisha, I instinctively thought they were safe, but then flashbacks from Season 3 flooded my mind. Oh crap – is one of them going home? Are we going to have another Jennifer Hudson moment and send LaKisha packing? Fortunately, no. The three ladies were safe, which left Gina, Haley, and Phil to sweat it out for another ten minutes as the special guest performed.

Guess what? It's not Tony Bennett, but Michael Buble. I guess the old man was too busy to appear on the show. It's a shame, because it was one of the worst guest performances I'd ever seen on American Idol. It was worse than when Toni Braxton practically humped Taylor Hicks on stage during their duet last year. I swear, Michael was drunk as a skunk. He looked awful and wasn't standing quite upright; he was singing funny, and he even forgot the words at one point! During a brief instrumental, Michael stumbled towards the band and did this weird, drunken dance before returning to the mic. It was downright embarrassing. After the "performance," Michael made some joke about still voting for Antonella Barba, which would have been funnier had he not clearly been hitting the bottle 5 minutes before he went on stage.

When the show returned after the commercials, Ryan immediately sent Phil back to safety. Unfuckingbelievable. He was awful this week, and he gets another chance? I couldn't believe my eyes; Gina was standing there with Haley. Gina, who was never in the bottom until this week. Haley was staring intently at her nails while Gina looked numb. I nearly fell off my couch when Ryan announced that Gina was leaving.

Are you kidding me???

How is Haley still on the show? At least you can count on Sanjaya to do something weird with his hair at every show, but she contributes nothing. Every week she turns in a coma-inducing performance, yet she remains. She doesn't get nearly the same amount of attention as the other contestants, but she's still there. Who is voting for her???

Next week's mentor is none other than JLo. Whoopee. Wonder if they'll learn from her what it's like to be married to the undead. Oh wait, Phil's wife already knows.

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About Toni Schwartz

  • http://www.friendlymisanthropist.blogspot.com alessandro nicolo

    She has the horny vote.

    Sanjaya…you know,the more the real talent sticks around (give or take a couple) the more irritated I get that he stands among them. There is a distinct possibility now that he’ll outlast Jordin or Blake! Maybe even Lakisha or Melinda. No one is safe as long as he’s there. Will he outlast Trias or Covais? Give that boy a magic trick since he’s a novelty act! The over praised American.

    Seriously, he can strut over and punch a band member, go dance with the girl who claps funny – the one who sits next to the French guy – do a juggling act on a unicycle and still get votes. All off-pitch. Now that’s a hero.

    Ah man, I was so disappointed when Tony didn’t show up. Well, it is flu season and he is 80. Buble…please. They say “you need to be original” yeah right. You can be unoriginal and still make millions. You can be a dimwitted jackass and still make a cool mill. He has a nice voice and some style but he was totally burnt.

  • Grandpa Idol

    You are a riot!! I also had the Season 3 flashback experience last night but felt it was too early in the competition to have that happen just yet. I think Haley continues to get the sympathy vote and until Simon really praises something other than her physical attributes she may prevail for a few more weeks. As far as Phil goes I don’t know who backs him other than family and military types. Bottom line, none of these kids (other than you know who) has a a lack of talent and could probably prosper in the “business”. Sanjaya, on the other hand, might find his niche as a theme park entertainer.

  • http://www.noface4film.com/ Kaonashi

    alessandro- I didn’t think that the horny vote could carry a contestant so far. Pretty but bland white girls on the show normally tend to leave early.

    Grandpa Idol- I did consider that military folks were backing Phil, and perhaps some patriotic civilians a la Josh Gracin, but when Josh was on the show it was a different time. We were still reeling from 9/11 and extremely patriotic, and Josh lasted a lot longer because of that. I just can’t figure out why Phil has lasted so long.

  • http://indiequill.wordpress.com/ Amrita

    Wonder if they’ll learn from her what it’s like to be married to the undead. Oh wait, Phil’s wife already knows.

    LMAO!
    well this week pretty much called the season for me. I can no longer live in denial and hope. Sanjaya is the next Idol, isnt he? thus is Simon served for snarking about William Hung.

  • http://www.noface4film.com/ Kaonashi

    Amrita- Thanks! Actually, it would have been a little funnier with the link to the pic I have, but for some reason they took it out.

    It should have said, “Wonder if they’ll learn from her what it’s like to be married to the undead.”

  • jukagi

    I completely agree with you…. My husband thought I was crazy because when they told Gina she was going home I yelled at the tv and was totally pissed! My son kept saying, ‘It’s just a show mom’ …. But what he doesn’t understand or get is that we as viewers, and ones who are totally into the show, become invested in the contestants. We pick our favorite and if they are sent home we feel their pain. Last week we saw Chris Sligh go home. He and Gina were my favorites. I like Blake also and have voted for him as well…… But at this point I am ready to boycott the show. This year is a JOKE!!!

  • Inigo Montoya

    Call more often or quit crying.

  • http://indiequill.wordpress.com/ Amrita

    Ha ha ha! Yup, Kaonashi, that was the first face that popped into my head too.

  • Ashlyn

    I agreed with your article pretty well for the most part. But, when I got to the part about J.Lo teaching them what it’s like to be married to the undead, I instantly got disgusted. I get pretty tired of hearing and people say such hateful things about Marc Anthony, when the one thing they don’t say, the only thing they should say, and that matters, is that whenever you see them together, she looks so incredibly happy. She literally glows every time I see a picture of her, or she’s on the television. She’s so happy with her life, and yes, I believe Marc is bringing her that happiness. So why is it necessary to bash him because they’re obviously in a different league? I think you’d be all too happy if you could find your own Marc!

  • http://www.noface4film.com Kaonashi

    Ashlyn- Calm down and relax. Why weren’t you up in arms when I made fun of Phil, or Michael Buble, or Haley? Everyone is fair game.