The smile on Simon's face that you see in the photo below didn't stay around too long as the auditions hit Seattle. Not to worry, Minneapolis, Seattle brought about even a worse day of auditions according to Simon. In one day, Minneapolis put through 17 contestants to Hollywood. In two days in Seattle, only 14 made the cut.
A few things remained constant between both audition cities. The level of the talents, both the highs and the lows, are a bit disappointing for me this season. Why the heck are they keeping the left door of the double doors locked in place? It was another evening of "the other door." Not everyone is right-handed, American Idol. I was waiting for someone to run out in horror after a Simon scowl, hit the locked left-hand door, and slither down to the floor like in a cartoon.
There were no guest judges on the panel and Paula seemed to hang in through both days without really odd behaviors. The niceness that Simon seemed to exhibit last night was gone for the most part and Randy wasn't as harsh. Well, except for the ones who really didn't have a clue or were silly to even think of auditioning. I felt sorry for some of the contestants, as I did last night. But, when you think about it, they know the show. They chose to go on national television. They signed releases for the footage to be shown. Me? I'd never want to be a star that bad… and I know I can't sing. Or dance. I shouldn't even really hum.
Tonight's Most Notable of the Odd
Oh, how apt is this? A candidate for the Darwin Awards in relation to American Idol, we endured Darwin "Misha" Reedy accompanied by her Mom. Holding to the idea that she was bringing sexy back, I think her shirt was too sexy for her and not vice versa. And, it was a huge floppy shirt. Like mother, like daughter and she performed much like she portrays herself. She frightened me. Justin Timberlake may never sing his song again if he saw her mention of it.
I have no idea what's going on with this woman's skin color, but it can't be healthy. They asked her if it was a sunburn, but she didn't really say much. But, since she dressed the way she did, she knew it would be commented upon. She's Melissa "Carlene" Stavros and Simon basically said she sounded like a goat. What did goats ever do to Simon?
Her performance didn't really remind me of a goat. I thought more along the lines of a cacophony of sound and motion. If she had been on much longer, my head may have started to spin.
Nick Zitzmann (pictured on left) brought about thoughts of a young Kyle Secor gone bad. Now, I like Kyle Secor, but not when he's gone bad and thinks he can sing.
He tried to sing "Unchained Melody" which is a tough song even if you can sing. Oh, my. He may think he's a leader, be he ain't no singer. While Simon referred to him as possibly not human, I think he's wrong. This could be a zombie situation. You may want to alert the GhostBusters. Even Nick said watching the performance might scare himself.
Hopefully it will be a lasting friendship between Jonathan Jayne and Kenneth Briggs. Neither should have tried out for the show, Jonathan more so than Kenneth. I'm glad the judges weren't cruel to Jonathan and I'm also glad that Kenneth (for the most part) took Simon's comments in stride. And, he knows a bush baby is a kind of monkey! These two are the Odd Couple of Tonight's Most Notable of the Odd.
Why, oh why am I hearing "Dueling Banjos"? Like a character from Deliverance, Stephen Thoen likes to try "cro-akie." He likes to be called "Red." See, he's not representative of all redheads. My hair is a similar color (thankfully a different style and I have no beard) and I always hated to be called "Red."
He likened himself to Freddie Mercury and absolutely slayed "Bohemian Rhapsody." He also seemed just a tad dangerous. He was the last contestant of the day and I bet the judges had security escort them out.
There were other bad acts, but they didn't make my Most Notable list. Brandon Groves, the one who sang "I Shot the Sherriff" while dressed as a cop last year returned this season all decked out like the Apollo Creed guy in Minneapolis sans boxing gloves. David Mills had an epiphany and a wake-up call. There was a Taylor Hicks clone, Eric Chapman, who couldn't sing a lick.
Friends and relatives of AI wannabes, please don't let your loved ones think they have talent when they don't! Stop them before they sing again! I beseech you, I beg you… confine them to the shower. I beg you, tell them. Spare them the public humiliation. Friend don't let friends go without talent on American Idol.
There Were Some Good Ones
Tommy Daniels has tried twice before to make it on the show. He slept by trashcans awaiting his Seattle audition. He fluffed his 'fro and he put on a show. Blake Lewis, a champion beatboxer, showed off his "skillz" and proved he can sing, too. The Malakar siblings (brother and sister) both made it through shining. I liked how Sanjaya wouldn't admit that the judges said he has a better voice than his sister.
Rudy Cardenas took a chance with a Journey song (Randy was a band member) and was passed through to Hollywood by Randy and Paula, but not Simon. Anna Kearns, a lofty lady at 6'3" without heels, passed through although I wasn't too impressed with her singing. 16-year old Jordin Sparks whose father is NFL's Felipe Sparks, is going to Hollywood.
Me? I'm just waiting for the Memphis auditions we'll see next week.