Is it just me, or do the Results episodes seem a little rushed these days? This was the second time it seemed that Ryan and the producers were short on time. Once again, there was no final performance for the losing contestant. I wonder if this will be a trend.
The episode was a little different this week. There were not one, but two guest performances, both by the contestants' coaches Peter Noone and Lulu. Peter's performance of "There's a Kind of Hush" took the place of the atrocious group song, but to be honest it wasn't that much of an improvement. Peter's lucky that he's a has-been singer or else he would have met Simon's wrath after that song. At one point the camera panned back and you could clearly see from the judges' table that Simon wasn't watching the performance.
After the break the Ford ad aired. Something about partying at a laundromat and a whole lot of soap, and near the end there's a suggested threesome as Chris R. and Blake pull Haley down to the sudsy floor. Weird.
Brad Garrett was sitting with the contestants, trying in vain to remind people that he has a sitcom. Ryan "kicked out" Brad, and the group pretended to be sad. Yawn.
Finally, the executions began. Ryan asked Phil, Melinda, and Blake to stand up. All three were safe. Then Chris S., LaKisha, and Jordin stood up. To no one's surprise, they too were safe. Sanjaya, Haley, and Gina then got to their feet. All three were safe. Sigh. The tweens and grandmas have once again kept their little Sanjaya alive. I'm frustrated, but not surprised and not even that worried. Even Chicken Little's luck ran out at some point, as did John Stevens and Scott Savol's. Ryan told Stephanie and Chris R. to stand and identified them as the Bottom 2.
Of course, their misery and anxiety would continue for another 15 minutes, as Ryan begged for money from corporations for the upcoming special "Idol Gives Back," followed by a performance by Lulu. Singing "To Sir With Love," Lulu's voice seemed really gravelly and shot, as if it were the result of years of heavy alcohol and smoking. However, she was definitely better than the sleep-inducing Peter Noone.
After the break, a nervous-looking Stephanie and a stony-faced Chris R. stood onstage clutching hands. Ryan quickly told Chris to sit down. As a sad-faced Chris returned to the safety of his groupmates, Stephanie watched her video montage. And after that — the end. No last song for her. Odd.
On the bright side, Stephanie's departure means that her votes will likely now go to Melinda, LaKisha, and maybe Jordin.
Until next week, I've been Kaonashi, and I'm out of here!