Fayed, who is traveling in a big black van with Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear, is as proud as if he were The Last King of Scotland. He talks on the phone to Gredenko, who is at an abandoned airport, checking to make sure there are no Snakes on a Plane. “I’ll be glad when we no longer have to deal with these mother f*&king people.”
The Ambassador of The Queen shows up at White House – he expresses sadness at the nuclear bombing in Valencia. He meets with Al-Assad, but they don’t exactly get along. Wayne is still whispering. He hands over dossier containing the Letters from Iwo Jima. Wayne asks the Ambassador for a statement of public support but the Ambassador is hesitant. Wayne carefully explains – as if to Children of Men – that there are navy ships off the coast of his country. In other words – play along nicely!!!
At CTU, Morris is slow to find information on a landline from Gredenko’s presumed safe house. Jack calls in from the Mirror Mar Hotel and fills in Buchanan about Logan’s phone call. Bill explains that Logan is under house arrest at his retreat in Hidden Valley- so that’s who’s making that salad dressing! [Note to self – throw out bottle] Jack is tender with Marilyn again. This is nice until it looks like he’s doing that freaky wiping his hand over someone’s face thing like Sean Archer in Face/Off
At the Bunker – the Killer Security Dude, Bruce Carson, shows up and gets checked in by security. Yes, this dry erase marker does work, what a lovely shade of Goldenrod! KSD want to off Tom but Reed pleads his case so KSD relents for the moment. Tom is still tied up and gagged. Reed has to go play White House staffer and runs into Melinda in the hallway. She asks too many questions, Reed gets impatient, wondering if she’s taking Notes on a Scandal.
Our Little Miss Sunshine, Chloe, sees that Morris made a simple mistake. They bicker back and forth about his competence, and whether he called his sponsor. Nadia checks on Chloe checking on Morris. Then these Dreamgirls argue a little more, but Chloe insists that Morris is better than most of the tech guys there. Nadia warns that she’ll go to Buchanan if there are any more slip-ups.
Logan tells Jack that they need to meet with the Russian Consul, Markov. Jack isn’t happy but realizes its An Inconvenient Truth that they’ll need to trust Logan. They call the President. Wayne raises his voice! But he unhappily agrees to sign an Executive Order to let Logan off his property. Ex-Prez and Jack will go to the Consulate in some Secret Service Cars together, and Jack will pretend to be part of Logan’s security detail.
Logan seems to have softened somewhat. He mentioned reconnecting with his faith. He picks out some fancy dress up duds for the furlough to the Russian Consulate. Jack is wearing a suit as well; he must have borrowed it from Logan?
Morris makes a little announcement in the situation room. He’s sorry about the whole helping Fayed thing, but he can still do his job. Bill says, “Fine – carry on”, but Nadia isn’t happy; she thinks Morris isn’t capable. Later Chloe calls his sponsor – finds out that they haven’t spoken in three years. She’s pissed and tracks Morris down into the men’s room. Finds out the real sponsor is someone else, and she tries hard to believe Morris.
Reed feels bad for Lennox; he doesn’t want him to be killed. He temporarily removes his duct tape gag so he can clean up a cut on Tom’s face. Reed explains that once the Vice Prez takes over the country in The Pursuit of Happyness, Tom will probably feel better about everything. Tom tells Reed that he’s just as bad as Fayed. He also tells him, “I was against you from the start!”
KSD is busy making the assassination bomb. Man, what a clever dude. Turns out those markers had some icky chemicals hidden inside, and KSD injects the chemicals into a cassette recorder – also handing Reed a PDA which will work as a detonator. Cool, all that’s missing is a Blood Diamond. He instructs Reed that all he needs to do is make sure that Prez Wayne will be within 10 feet of the bomb, and then press the magic buttons 6 – 2 – 4.
Reed begins his journey through Pan’s Labyrinth towards the broadcast area. He’s nervous as heck, imagining that everyone is suspiciously looking at him. Prez Wayne is concerned because Tom isn’t there yet.
Back in the boiler room, Tom Lennox contorts himself and works his shiny Happy Feet to turn a lever that will increase the pressure in the water pipes. It works for a few seconds, until KSD realizes what Tom did and fixes it. He threatens to hang him in a Half Nelson to kill him.
Back in the press room, Reed has placed the bomb in the lectern. President Wayne then lays a little more pressure on, nearly demanding that Tom Lennox had better show up soon. Reed stammers out some sort of answer. He manages to snake his way out of the room and shakily presses the detonation key.
It’s now Al-Assad’s turn to rehearse his speech, and as things start, he looks down and notices some darkish liquid coming from the lectern. He pauses, and bends down to see the blinking recorder. Instantly he knows it’s a bomb and yells, “Bomb!” and jumps out of the way. The blast is pretty intense, knocking over people, ripping paneling from the wall and whatnot. While Reed slips away from the Babel, Secret service men poke through The Departed to find the President alive but unconscious.
And the winner for the most (hopefully) changed character is… Charles Logan!Powered by Sidelines