Watching 24 can be quite the educational experience. First of all, there’s the whole telling time thing. Sure, it is digital, but there’s still a lesson to be learned, that time waits for no man, nor woman, not even for Kim Bauer, no matter how hot she is. Then, you have those 20 canisters. But not really 20 any longer, and you can turn it all into one of those annoying word problems that seem to mess up your brain. You know how that works, you’re doing your math homework, buzzing right along, a(24-12) = y and so on – when you are rendered, stupid by the following word problem.
The US Government had 20 canisters of Sentox
Nerve Gas hidden at the Ontario Airport. (Bonus, True or False – The airport is located in Canada). After some hoopla concerning hostages and terrorists, those 20 canisters are stolen by said terrorists hostiles. Over y amount of time, (with y equaling more than one hour, but less than 24) several canisters are deployed. The first canister of Sentox Six Nerve Gas was triggered at a shopping mall. Two more canisters of Sentox Six VX Nerve Gas will be detonated over the next two hours. When and where? (Hint: timestamp=18:00) Please show your work on this page.
Um, yeah. Pressing on.
We open at CTU; Bill is going in to see Tony. Tony’s doc advises Bill not to tell Tony that his lovely wife Michelle is dead. He says some nonsense about Tony not being physically stable enough. Sorry doc – aside from the nasty burns and abrasions on the face – Tony seems stable enough for me. Which is confirmed soon enough as Tony whips off monitor and IV lines, and goes sneaking around to find a computer to check things out for himself. I don’t know why Tony didn’t believe Bill and the doc about Michelle – they sure were convincing, right?
Speaking of convincing, at the scene of the motorcade attack, Martha, Yuri, Anya and Aaron Pierce are collecting themselves. Wait – that sounds as if there are various body parts to be collected, like the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. No, they are all intact physically, though Pierce starts to wonder about Martha’s mental state again. She’s mumbling about the Prez having previous knowledge about the attack. Pierce is doubtful, Martha keeps trying to explain, but she’s all shell-shocked and so on, and then the Navy helicopter arrives to bring them and the Subarus back to the Retreat/Western White House.
And, at the Retreat, it’s like the last 10 minutes of Fight Club combined with a little Da Vinci Code. Mike gently takes the cilice and cord away from Prez. “Stop beating yourself up.” He tries to convince Prez that he did the right thing. Again. Jeez – I bet Mike is getting tired.
Snakehead (Bierko) is still giving orders, and giving us some vital information. Ready? The next attack will only be a diversion. Wow, what a concept. I bet no one on 24 has ever considered that as a ploy. You knew he was going to be a smart bad guy, what with that British accent and everything. So smart he’s got one of his henchmen with bizarre Eastern European accents making plans with small-time drug dealers. Yup, that’s right. Bad Accent Bad-Guy (BAB-Guy) is on the phone with Duane/Pumpkin, Jenny “Honey Bunny” McGill’s crazy drug-dealing boyfriend. Remember they have Sam/Lynn’s Key Card? Somehow, Duane and BAB-Guy hooked up (Yay MySpace!) and BAB-Guy is going to buy the CTU Key Card off of Duane for $20,000. Nice! (They’ll have to sniff all remaining coke dust off the card first.)
And what of Jack, who last week nearly died when Robocop tried to blow him up? He’s doing fine, as usual. He calls into CTU explaining what’s going on. Since all the incriminating data was eliminated during the explosion at Ominous-Cron, Jack needs to get into Robocop’s personal computer. Chloe, God bless her, has already hacked in. She says that it was wiped clean five minutes ago, but noted, “There’s an active socket”. Jack responds, “What’s that mean?” Saints be praised! Someone had the balls to ask, “What the bloody f*#k on God’s Green Earth are you talking about?” Of course, Jack would be the one with ball of steel to dare ask Chloe to decipher this techno-talk. See, when Jack dares to ask questions, he’s showing the youth of America that Learning is Fun! Anyway, they sort out sockets, active or not, and determine that Jack will go alone to Robocop’s house. (Of course, is there another way? No!)
A Dead Bad Guy (DB-Guy) who was killed during the motorcade attack has been brought into CTU. The staff has found some scraps of paper, which turn out to be a schematic of a [building’s electrical system] – with a time-stamp. Awesome! Of course, the time-stamp, 18:00, is handwritten. I always figured that what makes a time-stamp, an actual stamp – is that it’s generated from a machine of sorts. But hey, if it’s good enough for CTU, why should I question it. I suppose workers around the world can now feel free to hand write their work hours in. Yay hand written time-stamps!
And now, back at the Retreat, Prez is greeting Martha, Pierce and the Subarus. Martha can hardly speak to the man, and Anya and Yuri certainly lost their cheery dispositions (and their Stoli buzz). Yuri is very polite, but it’s clear he’s not buying what Prez is trying to sell him regarding the whole attack, and Martha’s behavior and so on. It does look however, that Martha wants to sell something to Pierce. She’s very grateful for his help during the attack, and afterwards, she squeezes his hand during an intimate conversation. Mike, interrupts – its killing him not to break into, “Aaron and Martha sitting in a tree…”
Jack finally shoots someone in the thigh! Dave Barry has been yakking about this thigh-shooting phenomenon for ages now – and I knew what he meant, but the thigh shooting has been lacking so far in Season Five. Jack seems to have gone to knife work of late. But still, he manages to get off a little anatomy lesson. “I shot her above the knee! She’ll walk again!” Remember that boys and girls. Shooting above the knee – good. Shooting elsewhere – bad.
A lot of stuff happened, and Edgar died.
Yeah. I don’t know how else to put it, what else to say. Admittedly this is taking a bit of an easy way out. And for any 24 fans, you’ve already seen the show, and if not, you’ve probably already heard all about it, hopefully by reading the fine articles by Jeff Kouba and Victor Lana.
A lot of stuff happened and Edgar died. I just can’t get away from this one thing. It’s as if, nothing else matters as much. I mean, yeah, Kim was reunited with Jack. She didn’t seem too happy about seeing him, but can you blame her? And that creepy boyfriend, what’s his story? Actually I’m not surprised that he’s some sort of shrink. Maybe he’s not a boyfriend after all, or says he isn’t. He’s going to be bad news though. And eww, he looks older than Jack.
And the Vice-Prez – he canceled something or other in Salt Lake to come help Logan. From the sounds of things, he’s brought ‘lawyers, guns, and money’ because he wants to declare Martial Law in Los Angeles. Prez is all for the idea, but Mike is trying the squelch thing. He finally goes to see Martha to get her to reason with her husband. She actually agrees!
But, what else, interrogating Robocop? Ah, big deal. He’s a fricken Robocop, he’s not going to crack under whatever drugs they are using. Hello! Best bet is to let Tony have some quality time with him. The sight of his bed head alone could get ole Henderson yakking.
It’s still so strange, and here’s it’s been almost 24 hours later. Oh, I guess it might do to mention how this whole Edgar thing came about. Remember BAB-Guy? The guy who killed Jenny and Duane over a stupid Key Card? Well of course, he’s borrowing Sam’s McGill’s identity to breach CTU with his fancy suitcase of death.
Oh yeah, and Carrie bites the big one too. Oh Carrie, we hardly knew ye. Stupid BAB-Guy stabbed her. Out of respect to the dead, I’m not going to question Edgar’s decision to have her going to check out the problems in the environmental area. And stupid BAB-Guy arms the canister and yaddah yaddah 15 minutes tick by, and CTU folk start dying. I almost didn’t expect that. It was a little weird.
Most of the group has managed to dash into the Situation Room, one of the few areas that won’t be affected by the ventilation system. They seal up everything, and wait – oh no, it’s Edgar – he’s outside.
No. No, that’s just not right. No, it can’t be. Not Edgar, he’s supposed to be on the Other Side of The Glass Doors. Jack – do something. Bill…Chloe? Someone? Could Audrey at least call her father? The Prez?
I’m not liking this. Figures, my whole family is watching now. The kids never usually watch; they’re usually asleep. I don’t think they expected this either. We don’t say a word now, all we can do is watch Chloe looking out through the glass, mouthing, “Edgar”. We don’t say a word as her eyes fill with tears – as she watches Edgar slump down behind a desk. Edgar doesn’t grab his throat or stagger – he just goes down quietly. He never was one for dramatics.
A lot of stuff happened – and Edgar died.
RIP Edgar Stiles