Jack’s been doused, de-loused and probably wouldn’t mind getting soused right about now. “Hey, it’s after 12:00 somewhere in the world – looky there – (points at watch) it IS after 12:00.
So, it’s a not-quite Mexican Stand-off in the Starkwood compound. I guess we can call it an El Paso Standoff, a few miles from the border of being too silly. Larry and FBI are cornered at gunpoint – thanks in part to that tense little man, Greg Seaton. I had wondered why he and Tony gave each other the stink-eye at the beginning of the previous hour.
Hodges arrives and acts like he owns the place. No, wait – he does. But still, he’s all, “I’m the boss of you,” and Larry is like, “No you tool, I report to the President.” And Hodges is like, “I don’t give a fig, get the fudge out in five!” And Larry is like, “oh crap!”
A quick conference is needed with the kids back at FBI.
The chat involves dear little Janis, Renee, still with the honkin’ big band-aid, and Jack. Jack who is grimacing and wincing, internal organs create a rising crescendo of ‘dammits' in his body, the currents of pain amping up throughout his extremities…his hand trembles.
They confer with Larry. In between winces Jack had found some information in Red Forman’s (Senator Mayer) files. He explains that Doug Knowles, the Starkwood COB was actually trying to help Mayer in his investigations. Jack suggests they contact him and ask for his help. STAT. (Oops, wrong show). He suggests that things would be super swell if this could be done rather quickly.
They contact Larry, brief him, tell him to cause a distraction so they can let Tony slip away and hopefully meet up with Chairman Knowles. So Larry slugs Seaton. Done. Tony makes like the Grinch and just slides out of sight. The FBI TAC team is led away by Starkwood militia, as if being grabbed by their ears, and into their choppers they go.
And between the wincing and the conferring, and the like, Jack is able to talk to his old pal from the Lockdown Hours, President Taylor. He briefs her on the developments, and now she is prepared to launch an air strike on Starkwood as soon as they have the exact location of the canisters. Allison takes a moment to tell Jack that she’s concerned about his health, appreciates his sacrifices, and that she hasn’t given up on him yet.
Darling little Olivia, who maneuvered her way into the title of Interim Chief of Staff with all the grace of a cross between Eva Braun and Cleopatra, receives a phone call from her reporter “friend” Ken. He promptly begins to blackmail her into giving him the scoop regarding the convening of the Joint Chiefs. He also drops the tidbit that some little bird told him about WMDs at the Port Authority. Olivia agrees to meet Ken at a nearby hotel, and summons Aaron Pierce to accompany her.
Still searching for those WMD’ are Tony and now Doug Knowles who wants to end the corrupt evil doings of Starkwood. They come to a secure entrance and Knowles finds that his key card does not work. Tony is carrying a clone type device that will work, once they crack the pass-code back at FBI. Amazingly, with Chloe no where in sight, Janis breaks the code, acquires the five digits needed and Tony is in. Unfortunately, security teams were hovering too close, and Knowles decided to break cover to distract them. He was actually quite convincing. If it were me, I would have let him go. But that’s just me. Instead, the security detail brings him into custody, with Knowles’ exclamations of “but I’m the Chairman!” going unheeded.
Jack deteriorates, dropping to the floor and convulsing. Larry will bill him later for the broken coffee pot. They get a medic; the same CDC doctor chick that brought him in. and she gives him a shot of something that will help control his symptoms by masking them. He may repeat in two hours. If he forgets a dose, he should not double up the next time; just take the prescribed amount at the scheduled time. Somebody’s been reading too many prescription bottles.
Olivia would like to be sedated. After convincing Aaron that she’ll be fine on her own while he waits in the hall practicing
Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer moves, Olivia joins her snake of a pal Ken in his hotel room. She spills the beans; he makes hummus out of them by telling ‘Liv that he needs to know every shocking detail of the WMD fiasco. And then tells her that now she must sleep with him in order to keep him quiet. And she throws up in her mouth, has a Binaca® Blast, and does the deed. Angry pillow talk reveals that Ken will renege and ‘Liv is up the creek. But wait, because she’s got her handy-dandy camera-phone ready, the deed was recorded for posterity and the first tabloid in her path – if Ken runs the story. Doh!
Tony is stealthing his way towards the bio-weapons. A brief scuffle with a security detail yields a plus, Tony nicks a Kevlar vest and the masquerade is complete. He’s one of them. Well seriously, he has that ‘not gonna take no guff off of nobody’ look already. He even gets to ride in the elevator with a chief brainiac (not to mention Mer and Der having one of their typical elevator discussions. “You snore, seriously.” “Oh, seriously, you need a shave!” “Kiss me, I love you!”) Tony and Brainiac roll their eyes and head toward the canisters, Tony warming up his phone. He approaches the group of scientists. "Excuse me, need to check the light". Holds up light meter. “No, I need another spot over here. That’s better. OK, c’mon now babies, lets go…oh yes…yes…you’re lovely, the lot of you! Heaven! Perfection!”
Tony captures the image and back at FBI, Jack confirms that those are indeed the lovely, lovely canisters, looking better than ever since the last hour. President Taylor receives this confirmation and orders the F18s to begin the strike.
Hodges makes a visit to see Knowles who’s been pacing around wondering what the world was coming to. He uses more bluster to cover his actions with Tony, asking Hodges for explanations of the last few hours. They argue and Jonas trots out the “I treated you like a son!” line. That never bodes well. Evidently he must have beat his children because he’s suddenly striking at Knowles, grabs a heavy glass object (Frog paperweight anyone?) and hits Knowles on the head and then neatly tosses him over the balcony to his death. When will people learn to stop arguing near balconies?
Jonas’s tantrum ends when Greg Seaton calls to tell him that there is a cadre of F18s on the way towards Starkwood. He hastily tries to clean Knowles’ blood from his shirt and heads to the building that houses the nasty canisters.
And in the White House situation room, the Joint Chiefs, the president and other aids watch the progress of the jets head towards the target. But then Jonas Hodges has the nerve to call Allison in the middle of all the fun. He has set up a special line and does not want eavesdroppers. Allison goes to an adjacent private office and speaks to Jonas. To the point, he tells her to call of her bombers or he’ll let three of his own planes loose, each with a bio-weapon attached, and each directed at a major city along the East Coast. He then demands that he head to meet her directly at the White House. She realizes that he is not bluffing as he gives her 30 seconds to decide.
Glad that she was wearing her Easy Spirit pumps; Allison races back to the situation room and yells for the mission to be aborted. The generals are shocked and hesitate, but she yells another abort command and they continue down the chain until the jets change course with only seconds to spare. The room is stunned and Allison just leaves them, mouths hanging open as she exits.