The morning after my 21st birthday…
Bodhi: Wake up, I have to go potty.
Bodhi: I have to go right now. You have to take me outside.
Bodhi: Come on. You owe me. I said nothing when your drunk friends picked me up and played “Airplane” with me. I said nothing when you nearly passed out on me. I said nothing when your idiot friend fed me beer and laughed about it. You owe me. I have to potty and I have to potty now.
Chelsea: Okay, today, you have a “poop on the rug free” card.
Bodhi: But that isn’t how it works.
Chelsea: Why? You always poop on the carpet anyway, even if I do take you outside.
Bodhi: I know but I’ve always been a fan of formality.
Chelsea: Why don’t you get me some Tylenol? Lassie would’ve gotten Tylenol for Timmy.
Bodhi: Yeah, but I doubt Timmy was a raging alcoholic like you are. Even Lassie had her limits.
Chelsea: Bodhi, seriously, I feel like crap. Just go piss in the same corner you always go in when you think you’re being so sly, and I’ll pretend I didn’t see it, and we’ll go on as always.
Bodhi: Well, I suppose I’ll find some solace in knowing I wasn’t the only one to urinate in my sleeping quarters today.
Bodhi: Yeah, there’s a reason I didn’t sleep with you in your bed last night. I have standards.
Chelsea: So is that why the last time we went to my parents’ you humped their mutt – I mean, designer dog – Gracie?
Bodhi: The little cock tease was begging for it.
Chelsea: Just go piss in the corner, Bodhi. I’m not getting up.
Bodhi: Fine. But when you find it you still have to act thoroughly annoyed and unamused.