Home / Trinket’s Armchair Guide To American Idol 5

Trinket’s Armchair Guide To American Idol 5

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align=left"Image“Hi, my name is Trinket and I’m an American Idol addict.” There, I’ve finally admitted it to myself and all of you. No more hiding this secret vice. No more pretending to be confused by names like Anthony Federov or Jennifer Robinson. So now that I’ve outted myself, let’s dish on this week’s show!

Boston was the seventh and final stop on AI’s audition tour this year. Boston offered an overwhelmingly young crowd that was high on energy but low on real talent. 27 people made it to Hollywood and of that number, the show introduced us to only four. Ayla Brown was the first of the best but on this particular night, that didn’t mean a whole lot. Brown hails from local royalty as her father is a Senator and mom is a television personality of sorts. She herself seems the classic over achiever, dividing her time between singing and basketball. Her version of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” was … nice. Her voice has a lot of power but there was a lot of texture and dynamic missing. The judges (Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson for anyone that has spent the last 4 years in a coma) put her through to the next round because, as they put it, “You can sing”.

Rebecca O’Donahue was the second person to be given a coveted gold pass to Hollywood. Her twin sister was by her side to offer moral support as she sang a rather boring rendition of “Black Velvet”. She looks the part – likely a size two, tall, very pretty. Simon Cowell all but came right out and said that those were the reasons she’d be given another chance to actually make an impression on the judges with her singing ability.

Tatianna Ward worked every possible angle to impress the judges. Her Stevie Wonder bit was kind of old school but she again landed in the category of “You can sing” and let’s face it, in Boston that was fast becoming a very high compliment. Ward at least showed some real personality while kissing each of the judges asses with gushy comments and you sort of thought she might even mean what she was saying. I was actually kind of glad to see her make it.

If we’re to believe what we saw there was only one guy in all of the Boston auditions that could sing and his name is Kevin Covais. If there’s a Clay Aiken in this years competition, this is the guy. He’s only sixteen, quirky, kind of resembles Aiken in a way that I’ve yet to put my finger on but when he opened his mouth, I was impressed. “You Raise Me Up” served Covais well and he might be an underdog to watch.

Only four talented people were shown so you know what that means – a good forty minutes worth of vocal abominations. Admit it, that’s the real reason you watch the audition shows! You love the disasters just as much as I do and tonight those disasters were grand.

Some of the “talent” blended together like the patriotic hip hopper, the Taylor Dayne wannabe, an operatic version of “Working For The Weekend” and a medley of about 25 people crucifying “Joy To The World.” Then of course came the standouts like Irada Jarafova. Can she sing? Hell no, but that didn’t stop the poor Russian girl from trying. She butchered three different songs and started stripping in the middle the mess.

Some random jock sang some random song that we never even saw but Fox did show us Simon Cowell’s response, “Great at the end of a drunk party, not great sober.” Even without seeing much of the footage, you could tell Cowell’s remark was quite accurate.

Every audition show has one memorable character and this week we diehards were blessed with two people vying for the award. Kenneth Macarone sauntered into the room with his self-righteous nose in the air. I;m always scared when a man intends to sing a Cher song and that instinct has yet to fail me. This dude really did sound like Cher and he swore that he could sing and sound like Judy Garland as well. It was suggested that he perhaps consider finding work as a Cher impersonator – an idea that I agreed with. Macarone saw nothing odd about singing like a woman while dressed as a man and was insulted by the judges’ suggestion.

Michael Sandecki was the other memorable (but not in a good way) contestant. Remember that kid in junior high that never knew when to shut up and irritated the crap out of everyone? Age him a few years and have him sing “In The Still of The Night” out of tune. After annoying everyone he was waiting with he then chalked up his bad audition to needing “to pee really, really bad!”. Cowell, pretty much off his rocker at that point, dared Sandecki to run to the little boys room and then return to sing again. Mission accepted but once the out of breath kid returned, he was launched five words into his song.

The final audition show was packed with laughs but really low on talent. I’m actually glad that next week starts the Hollywood elimination rounds. I’m anxious to see some people really sing!

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About kismet

  • I don’t usually follow American Idol, but I watched the last two audition shows. I couldn’t believe how blah some of the people dressed, as if they were making a run to the Village Pantry instead of auditioning to be stars. What’s wrong with a little glamor? Jeans are not glamorous.

  • Ty

    Seems like season after season, in the auditions segment, they are showing less and less of the people who go to Hollywood.

    Sure I like some funny stuff, but I mainly want to see the people I will follow all the way to the finals.

    The reality is that we will not have seen the auditions of most of the finalists until after the fact (this happened with Carrie and Bo last year)

    I suspect next year (or year after), we’ll get an audition that gives us 20-30 people who made it to Hollywood, but we only see 1 of them when that audition show airs.

  • Great job, you nailed it! Are we going to see you next year on TV?!

  • Thanks Eric!

    Sister Ray I can only hope that the Cher-like guy WAS planted!

  • I thought the part with the guy who sang like Cher was a set-up. A guy says he sings like Cher and like Judy Garland but is shocked! at the idea of drag?

  • Eric Olsen

    excellent job Trinket, thanks so much – look forward to reading all season!

  • Thanks!

  • Great job on this, Trinket! Off you go to Advance.net/Cleveland.com!