This week on the Treehouse Fort:
Tuffy: Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler and new head coach Josh McDaniels are still at loggerheads over perceived slights arising from a possible attempt to trade the young thrower. Cutler skipped a charity event this week and discussions between the two men broke down when Cutler demanded McDaniels stop sending him boxes of candy to placate him.
Suss: In college basketball news, the game of the week was most likely Syracuse’s 6 OT win over Connecticut, 127-117 in the Big East tournament. The last time Madison Square Garden saw that many ties, the Knicks held a promotional Sexual Harrassment Night.
Tuffy: The Nielsen numbers are in for that Syracuse-Connecticut game. For comparison, the Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer epic battle drew 2.3 million viewers while Syracuse-UConn pulled 2.6 million sets of eyeballs. To be fair, though, the Stewart-Cramer match was over pretty early.
Suss: The Green Bay Packers announced they would retire Brett Favre’s No. 4 jersey, but not likely in 2009. This just in, the Packers have traded Favre’s retired jersey to the Detroit Lions in exchange for the No. 1 overall pick and a Mad Libs book partially completed by Matt Millen.
Tuffy: Manny Ramirez has aggravated a hamstring injury in his first trip to the outfield since rejoining the Dodgers this spring. His hamstring now joins most of Boston, Los Angeles, and… really, anyone not related to Scott Boras.
Suss: A chip dip company called Heluva Good! will be the primary sponsor of a NASCAR Sprint Cup race in Watkins Glen, New York. The race will be officially called the Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at The Glen. The race is expected to be as exciting as Martinsville’s Sonofabitch Pregnancy Tests 500.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
• Utah State mascot fighting the New Mexico State mascot for $100
• Former Pistons great/Detroit mayoral candidate Dave Bing, for lying about having an MBA
• NASCAR employee Jimmy Watts, for chasing a loose tire that brought a caution in the Sprint Cup race; suspended four races
• Sacramento Kings rookie Donté Green, hazing Bobby Jackon’s Mercedes in revenge
• Billy Packer, college basketball analyst, admitting he hired a psychic to find OJ Simpson’s murder weapon
• Swedish golfer Henrik Stenson, afraid to get clothes dirty, he golfed a shot in his underwear during a tournament
• Travis “Octodad+1″ Henry, having nine kids with nine different women (when only one kid was planned)