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Treehouse Fort Headlines For January 4: “Two Thousand? Oh, Wait”

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The following is a partial transcript of the January 4, 2009 episode of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort, which recapped the year in sports for 2008.

Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking” Award For The Year

Suss and Tuffy’s Year In Review

Tuffy: In January, LSU beat Ohio State to become the first two-time BCS National Champion. Ohio State celebrated their umpteenth second-place finish in the Bowl Championship Series by getting their own NBC series last summer: “The Biggest Loser”.

Suss: In February, the New York Giants shocked the 18-0 New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. The replays showed the entire Patriots playbook exposed in a security glitch when playing a recording of the Tom Petty halftime show backwards.

Tuffy: In March, Brett Favre retired. On the third trade attempt, He rose again as a Jet. Then Natalie Wood cradled him in her arms as he threw his last interception.

Suss: In April, Mario Chalmers became a Kansas basketball legend when his 3-point shot against Memphis in the NCAA men’s basketball championship not only tied the game at the end of regulation, but also eliminated the Detroit Tigers from playoff contention.

Tuffy: In May, Manchester United proved the best mudder billion dollar franchise, besting their Premier League compatriots, Chelsea, in a soaked Moscow stadium. Chelsea owner and Russian oligarch Roman Abromovich took the loss well, convincing his natural gas friends to cut the flow to Western Europe for a mere three days.

Suss: In June, a visibly injured Tiger Woods won the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines in dramatic fashion, in an 18-hole playoff round against athletic everyman Rocco Mediate. After the tournament it was revealed that during Woods’ rehab leading up to the tournament, he had a double stress fracture in his leg, and took the rest or the year off to have his leg surgically replaced with that of Kentucky Derby contestant Eight Belles.

Tuffy: In July, the Major League Baseball All-Star game began. For the sake of all involved, we here at the Treehouse Fort pray it ends soon.

Suss: In August, Michael Phelps became the first Olympian to win eight gold medals at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, also becoming the first Olympic trophy case that was visible from space.

Tuffy: In September, the United States beat Europe in the Ryder Cup. Europe took the loss well, only cutting off the flow of television series available for piss-poor remakes for three months.

Suss: In October, the World Series came to a dramatic finish when the Phillies and Rays played to a … hold on, my ceiling is leaking. Um … hold on. I … will … tell you who won later.

Tuffy: In November, Jimmie Johnson took home his third straight Sprint Cup championship. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. settled for being the richest SOB on four wheels for the third straight season.

Suss: In December, thousands upon thousands of New Yorkers gathered in Times Square, forgetting all the troubles and turmoil of the previous year, and looked ahead to 2009 as all races, religions and classes joined in unison and counted down from 10 as they watched the iconic Charles Barkley career drop.

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  • Tony

    Poor Charles. He does kind of resemble the Time Square Ball these days. I think he’s too popular to get fired though, and too well liked by the press for it to be blown up too far.