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Treehouse Fort Headlines For February 15 – “Stars-a-poppin'”

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The following is a partial transcript of the February 15, 2009 episode of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort.

Suss: Nate Robinson won the Slam Dunk contest over Dwight Howard last night, literally. Robinson’s signature dunk came when he put on a green Knicks jersey and leaped over Howard. Meanwhile, Howard failed to recreate the Julius Erving dunk from the free throw line. Judges were so repulsed by the effort that they gave Howard’s dunk a mere 320,718 points out of a possible 50, his lowest-scored dunk in three years.

Tuffy: Phoenix Suns coach Terry Porter will allegedly be let go Monday by his boss, GM Steve Kerr, while Chicago Bulls GM John Paxson will reportedly resign by the end of the season. All of Michael Jordan’s former sharpshooters have taken cover since, which might explain why no one has heard from Jud Buechler in five years.

Suss: Kevin Durant won the inaugural All-Star H-O-R-S-E game on Saturday. The Oklahoma City Thunder phenom made a shot that nobody else could match when he drained a jump shot while standing in the bottom of the Western Conference.

Tuffy: The Atlanta Falcons will try to trade the rights to Michael Vick to another team, even though he has a contract that runs through 2013 worth over $9 million per. The only organization to make an offer thus far has been The Humane Society. Quoting a spokesman: “We have many positions in mind for Mr. Vick. We hope he’s been staying limber in prison.”

Suss: Selena Roberts, who co-wrote the infamous Sports Illustrated report that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids in 2003, has moved up the release date of her book A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez from May 19 up to April 14. Analysts praise the decision, saying that anything involving Alex Rodriguez is more likely to be a big success in the month of April.

Tuffy: This just in… reports from ESPN note that Barry Bonds does not keep his Yoplait yogurt lids to donate to breast cancer research. A two-hour Outside the Lines special devoted to this tragedy will air at 9 Eastern tonight.

Charlie Doherty’s What Were They Thinking?

Jamal Anderson, ESPN analyst and former Atlanta Falcons running back, for getting caught with crack in a restroom.

Boxer Antonio Margarito and his trainer, for using an illegal substance in hand wraps during a 1/24/09 fight with Shane Mosley at the Staples Center.

Tennessee head football coach Lane Kiffin, for a third recruiting violation.

Steelers kicker Jeff Reed, for his empty paper towel machine tantrum.

The Arizona b-ball female fan who put her phone number on national TV.

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  • Tony

    Matt, you were in rare form on this one. the Durant line and “A-Rod in April” were classic. Nice work.