The following is a partial transcript of the December 7, 2008 episode of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort.
Tuffy: Manny Pacquiao pummeled Oscar de la Hoya Saturday night, cementing his right to the mythical pound-for-pound title and bringing pride to a subcontinent. De la Hoya, on the other hand, took a pounding so severe that HBO boxing announcer Jim Lampley showed concern that Manny was, quote, “rearranging De La Hoya’s beautiful face.” Miss California USA 2003 would like to know why Lampley is suddenly concerned about that kind of thing now.
Suss: In college football, Tim Tebow led the Florida Gators past top-ranked undefeated Alabama 31-20 in the SEC Championship in Atlanta, throwing for 216 yards and three touchdowns. He also converted over 75 Heisman votes for Sam Bradford into wine. In other news, Atlanta, for the first time in its 200-year history, has absolutely no recorded cases of leprosy, with the exception, of course, being Mike Hampton.
Tuffy: The University of West Virginia’s football squad accepted a bid to the Meineke Car Care Bowl in Charlotte in late December. In contrast, former West Virginia head coach and current University of Michigan skipper Rich Rodriguez is mulling over an offer for a free brake system inspection.
Suss: Stephen Curry scored 44 points, tying a career high, in Davidson’s win over NC State, with LeBron James in attendance. Afterward, the NC State coach told the media, “what are people going to remember, that Stephen Curry scored 44 points in front of LeBron James, or that we held Max Paulhus Gosselin scoreless?”
Tuffy: And finally this episode of Treehouse Fort is sponsored by Hanes. Hanes’ new breathable Kevlar sweatpants let you break a sweat in the gym or at the club without fear of gunfire. Note: Hanes is not responsible if you machine dry your sweatpants or jam a gun inside the sweatpants while wearing them.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
• Jimmy Patsos, Loyola (MD) basketball coach, for his bizarre email to Pardon the Interruption insinuating that men like Stephen Curry could have prevented 9/11.
• Stephon Marbury, (still) Knicks guard, for perhaps buying a $40 million private jet and saying coach D’Antoni is trying to “ruin” him.
• Lois Feldman, Iowa football fan and married 38-year-old woman, for her drunk sexcapade with a stranger at the Metrodome mens bathroom.
• Carlos Tevez, Manchester United player, for his Spain-like “slant eye throwdown” after his hat trick against Blackburn.
• Plaxico Burress, Giants wide receiver, for shooting himself in his right thigh in a crowded Manhattan night club, and doing so with an illegally held weapon in the process.
• Sean Avery, Dallas Stars left winger, getting suspended for referring to Calgary defenseman Dion Phaneuf’s girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert, Avery’s ex-girlfriend and 24 star, as “sloppy seconds.”