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Treehouse Fort Headlines For December 28 – “Receipt’s In The Bag”

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The following is a partial transcript of the December 28, 2008 episode of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort.

Tuffy: Mark Teixeira signed with the New York Yankees this week for eight years at a total of $180 million. The Yankees now own everything but righteous indignation about the Yankees. However, agent Scott Boras has scheduled meetings with the Steinbrenner family after the new year to discuss a 10-year deal to acquire said righteous indignation.

Suss: Boise State’s perfect season came to an end in San Diego with a 17-16 loss to TCU in the Poinsettia Bowl. Although most people suspect this was just a ploy by Ian Johnson to get out of his engagement with his cheerleader fiancee.

Tuffy: The NBA took advantage of the Christmas holiday to air five national games, including the epic Celtics-Lakers tilt. Inexplicably, the Detroit Lions lost two of the games.

Suss: In anticipation of the Chargers-Broncos rematch in Week 17 for the AFC West title, Chargers linebacker Matt Wilhelm called Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler a punk and a crybaby on a San Diego radio station this week. At that point referee Ed Hochuli whistled the insult dead before it could continue further.

Tuffy: Early reports this holiday week that Patriots deity Tom Brady became engaged to model Gisele Bündchen, but Brady’s father could not confirm the impending marriage later in the week. When reached for comment, Matt Cassel waved his arms wildly and demanded to be put in for Brady.

Suss: Former hot dog eating contest champion Takeru Kobayashi failed in his bid to break the fruitcake-eating record. What he didn’t finish was re-gifted to Joey Chestnut.

Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”

• The No Fun League, for fining Wes Welker $10K for his snow angel TD celebration vs. Arizona and Titans players (Keith Bulluck and LenDale White) for stomping on the Steelers’ Terrible Towel after defeating them 12/21/08
Jets DE Shaun Ellis, fined $10K for throwing snowballs back to fans who were pelting the Jets as they left Qwest Field after Seattle beat them on Sunday, 12/21/08
• Columnist Rob Parker, for asking Lions coach Rob Marinelli if he wished his daughter had married a “better defensive coordinator” (Joe Barry, Rob’s son-in-law).
• The drunk idiot 31-year-old fan Todd Kobus, who came out of the Gillette Stadium stands to go after Junior Seau on the sidelines. He screwed over the season-ticket holder at his seat.

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