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Top Ten Ways to Improve King Kong

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[In reverse Order]

  1. Have Jack Black teach him how to play guitar at the school of rock.
  2. Have Kong beat Donald Trump senseless for telling him “Your Fired”.
  3. Have Kong beat Peter Jackson for telling him he can’t be a hobbit.
  4. Have Tom Cruise try to convert Kong into a Scientologist.
  5. Make the Tyrannosaurus Rex a Muslim terrorist with WMD’s.
  6. Make Kong a huge gay cowboy.
  7. Have Kong wife swap Naomi Watts for hotter Charlize Theron with Mighty Joe Young.
  8. Make the natives on Skull Island Ompaloopas.
  9. Have PETA protesters crushed when Kong falls off Empire State building.
  10. Have some guy say at the end of the movie “It was beauty that killed the beast”, then have a smarter guy say “Actually, I think being shot with machine guns and falling a thousand did it.”

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About John Bill

  • http://jonathan-d.blogspot.com Jonathan

    I’d love to see that monkey guitar lesson! Although it does make me wonder about how well Jack Black can pull off his role in King Kong – I’ve not seen it yet, and I can’t imagine him as anything but the rocker/slacker/teacher of School of Rock.

  • http://jmaximus.blogspot.com John Bill

    Dear Readers,
    Please also visit my new blog of top 10 lists :

    The Blister List

    My latest list: 10 hottest babes of Scifi

  • http://alienboysworld.blogspot.com/ Christopher Rose

    Fascinating article, so funny and well written. You must have worked extra hard on that one. And the “In reverse Order” bit? That cracked me up, especially the clever way you didn’t use the capital on “reverse”, priceless. And how you used those sexy square brackets? Excellent stuff! What a wonderful grasp of satire you have, Mr Bill.

  • http://www.fotolog.com/butki13 Scott Butki

    Well, I like your idea here but it’s really not so great with the follow through.
    But I’ve been itching to share some thoughts on this movie and you just helped me choose the format.
    So thanks for that.