During decades as a marriage counselor, I have witnessed countless examples of how people show their love to one another in an intimate relationship. And while I do not claim to own an expert patent on the nature of love, in over 10,000 intense conversations, I have paid attention and learned immensely. I have seen what destroys love, how love grows stale, and all the ways this wonderful emotion can be actively enriched.
When I ask, how do you know your partner loves you, many people shrug and utter the short-worded response, ‘I just know’. And if I ask their partners how they show love, they also struggle to articulate a description. But love is a feeling so it must be felt through words and deeds. Love is the most taken-for-granted gift. The longer we have it, the more risk there is for believing that our love is invincible.
Through the years, I have observed and studied the specific, yet simple, ways in which people naturally reflect the love they have for their partners. What follows are common signs that people are still in love. Bring your partner in close as you read together each of the 10 signs – written with tongue-in-cheek humor. Look for the grain of truth. How does each one apply to your relationship? Are you successful? Need to do some work? Smile, hug, nod in understanding, and let your eyes meet in recognition of shared truth.
THE TOP 10 SIGNS YOU ARE STILL IN LOVE
#10. You wake up in the morning with him, he looks and reeks like Godzilla — and you still feel the LOVE!
#9. You promptly snatch up his dirty socks off the kitchen table — and head directly to the laundry without grousing.
#8. She’s telling the same lame joke to your friends you’ve heard for the umpteenth time — and you don’t groan uncontrollably.
#7. You say the words “I LOVE YOU” – without laughing, joking, choking, or crossing your fingers behind your back.
#6. You grab the last ice cream sandwich you love — and offer it to her.
#5. You accept her crankiness, console her mildly — and don’t join in her low mood.
#4. Your arguments are all the same — they settle quickly with a kiss and a smile.
#3. He makes a petty factual error in his storytelling about your trip — and you resist the temptation to interrupt and correct.
#2. You imagine your future – and she is still in your vision.
And the #1 sign that you are still in love is (drum roll, please)…
#1. He wears THAT again in public — and you remain proud to be with him!!!
So tell me now, what do you need to work on tonight with your special honey?