In an attempt to cut off the already swirling rumors at the Paparazzi Pass, Tom Cruise and his lovely Katie Holmes call an upcoming Life & Style report called “Split!” “100 percent false,” according to MTV.com. As though they felt the need to go further, the curious couple of note go further in issuing a statement through their publicist that all reports of breakupsville are riddled with “malicious fallacies.”
It would seem that these rumors come at a particularly delicate time in the lifecycle of the celebrity romance as it was only last October that the happy couple announced that they are expecting their first child.
And to think: it was only last spring that a hyperkinetic Tom jumped up-and-down and up again on Oprah’s (pre-Frey) couch. Perhaps the celebrity lifecycle has shrunk in much the same way technology has crushed the timeline on things like the lag between movies hitting the big screen and release to DVD.
According to ABC News online:
Citing unnamed sources described only as “multiple insiders,” Life & Style reported that Cruise and Holmes had agreed to call off their engagement but maintain the “charade” of a romance until after the birth of their baby.
Now, normal humans would but ask: why the hell would they maintain a charade until after the birth of the baby? Maintaining a charade until the kids go to (bizarro-celeb) college doesn’t really make sense to me, though I can buy some of its merits.
This is all prelude to the real question we need to ask ourselves: will off-screen turmoil and/or charades and/or hyperkinetic Scientology non-medicinally induced craze-bliss ever affect Cruise’s on-screen work?
The crazy thing, maybe, is that the guy is a damned good actor who usually doesn’t get the credit he deserves.
Maybe he and his Katie are busy spending it to quell the latest rumors.
Update: Meanwhile, Mr. Cruise is suing over alleged “gay investigations.”