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Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are Expecting!

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Oh my goodness, I don’t know if I can take it. First Demi & Ashton, now this:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting a baby. Holmes’ pregnancy was reported Wednesday by People magazine. The couple have been dating since April and became engaged in June.

“Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited,” Lee Anne Devette, Cruise’s spokeswoman, told People.

How could they NOT be excited???? This is going to be like some kind of super baby, all teeth and good hair and rippling tummy muscles. It could be short like Tom, sure, but it could be tall like Katie, too!

And this baby boy (I know it could be a girl, but I guess I’m old-fashioned and think boy babies are better) is going to be so rich that Paris Hilton is going to swoop right in on him and take him to all the most important parties, especially if Tom & Katie don’t get crazy and name him something like Perez that would threaten Paris’s sense of self.

Oh, the lives of celebrities are too good! I can barely think! Thank God for them!

More where this came from at Blunderford.

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  • I predict droopy, squinty eyes, a manic laugh, and way too much fake enthusiasm from this child.

    I guess Katie’s not a virgin anymore. Or is it some alien implantation by the fifth level Thetans? I kid, I kid.

    That is all.

  • Laurel

    I hope Katie doesn’t have any post-partum depression. The Scientologists will just say she needs some vitamins and auditing. And if she doesn’t like that they can always put her on the RPF.

  • pg

    who cares really? kind of humorous

  • Not sure what to make of it…