There are a number of stories and legends that exist around Easter. My personal favorite is the legend that has grown up around the humble Easter egg.
On the Sunday morning following the Crucifixion of Christ, Mary Magdalene took a basket of hard-boiled eggs along with her as she went to Christ’s tomb. Roman soldiers were guarding the tomb, the authorities having been alerted to a possible theft of Christ’s body. Roman soldiers were no different than any other soldier at any other time in history. Judea was a detested posting. Their pay did not allow for gourmet items like hard-boiled eggs and there was no Fed Ex to ship care packages from their families back in Rome.
Mary was going to use the eggs as an incentive (bribe) to allow entry into the tomb. Legends being legends and hard-boiled eggs in a basket of straw being what it was, well you can guess the rest. The only things missing in that basket, though, were marshmallow Peeps!
There is some controversy as to when Peeps were invented, how and why, but then that adorable little marshmallow confection excels in controversy. You either love them or hate them. Either they are a decorating tool or an object for abject abuse. Everyone has an opinion. Unfortunately, those who enjoy ingesting a Peep or two are often the subject of ridicule and harassment.
First, Peeps are harmless as long as one is not a sugared-up four-year-old. They only have 32 calories and no grams of fat and only 7.25 grams of sugar! As to their nature, I think it wise not to delve too closely into the actual chemical composition of the little critters. Allegedly they are made of water, sugar, gelatin, and something called carnauba wax.
Further investigation reveals that carnauba wax comes from Brazil and is a byproduct of the Carnauba Palm. Items made from this mysterious substance include car wax, shoe polish, candy corn and, when mixed with coconut oil, surfboard wax! It is an important ingredient in make-up, Tic-Tacs, chewing gum, and is used to coat medicinal tablets.
Peeps may have been born, pun intended, in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, created by Bob Born, scion of the Just Born candy dynasty in 1953. Is this a cover-up hiding the real nature of the Peep? Some scholars suggest the inoffensive little confection was created decades earlier by the Rodda Candy Corporation in 1920. Just Born purchased Rodda in 1953, suspiciously the same year Peeps were allegedly created.
There are strange and mysterious tales about Peeps, those once innocent marshmallow confections being involved in all manner of unseemly situations including the persistent rumors of Peep show pornography. As this writer has a reputation for maintaining a family friendly reputation, we will delve no farther into this obscene and undoubtedly ill-advised situation.
Internet rumors persist that even those august professorial types at Emory University have studied the nature of the beast, but such urban legends are hard to trace if they are indeed true. The Peep home office does claim over 200 web sites dedicated to Peeps. Unfortunately a sampling of these web sites proves that many have broken links, making one wonder if some sort of a Peep cover-up exists. If so, what are the delicious confections hiding?
What kind of hideous experimentation has been conducted on these innocent creatures, all in the name of science? Perhaps the Peeps Research site can help explain some of the horrendous indignities perpetrated on the innocent bunnies and chickies.
CAUTION: This site shows vulnerable Peeps answering nature’s perpetual call. This voyeuristic adventure into a handful of innocent Peeps attempting to better themselves is part of ongoing experimentation, done in the name of science, from Peep Research. Their site is not for the faint of heart as it shows perfectly innocent peeps being forced to endure such traumatic experimentation as smoking, consuming alcohol, and being placed into a vacuum.
Such disgusting activities do make one question whether this experimentation was done in the name of science or simply yet another way to degrade the Peeps in question. Further investigation reveals the objectionable site in question does indeed belong to actual scientists from Emory University – Gary Falcon and James Zimring.
How such degrading things can be done to such innocent beings all in the name of science is sickening. Fortunately, more Peeps are joining the artistic community, where they are featured in award-winning films such as Lord of the Peeps. Lord of the Peeps features an unheralded, but well-grounded actor by the name of Figpeep. For more information about him, please visit FigPeep Lives. Peeps are also musically inclined and have been known to parody the Monkees.
Fortunately, impresarios are now endeavoring to lift Peeps from their artistic gutter and bring them into the mainstream of artistic life. Shaun Vecera in "The Peep Manifesto,” once wrote, “Anyone can put a Peep into a microwave and fry its butt, but it takes a true genius and inspiration to turn that yellow pile of stuff into something worth hanging on.” While the tone is rather patronizing and brings to mind the recent series of commercials manipulating cavemen, at least Vecera is attempting to shine the light of hope on an oppressed species.
Perhaps, though, the greatest moment of any Peep’s life is when it answers the siren song of pure science and glory, boldly going where no Peep has gone before. Their NASA experiment was a success, but unfortunately those brave Peeps who so bravely went where no Peep had gone before disappeared. An official inquiry followed.
Fingers were pointed at a carnivorous NASA engineer but no proof remained. Fortunately, more brave Peeps volunteered their services to NASA. This time they survived their space flight and returned safely home and, like Gus Grissom so many years earlier, their trip into space was ignored by the press and adoring space fans. One can only hope those brave astropeeps were treated honorably.
Unfortunately, just like every other minority, Peeps have been subjected to more than their share of bias and discrimination. There are entire paranoid sectors of society who spent their lives persecuting innocent Peeps, ignorantly considering the creatures a sign of the impending cataclysm or apocalypse. Others see them as the very harbingers or messengers of the demonic forces that manipulate mankind for their own evil gain.
What is the truth? Are Peeps a force for good in the world or are they a force for evil?
All I know is it would take over 172 million bunny Peeps placed end to end to circle the moon and it will take 70 million chick Peeps placed head to end to go from New York City to Los Angeles. Twenty percent of Peep gourmets, this author included, prefer their Peeps to be stale. Peeps are made for other holidays, but consuming them outside of Easter would be an obscenity.
For additional information visit the official web site, where you can join the official Peeps fan club!