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Thomas Kinkade Goes To Jail: Is This What They Call “Yuletide Joy?”

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Sometimes, the Christmas Spirit actually manages to get to us. For me, the Christmas Spirit has remained mostly dormant the last couple of decades, but the recent news that a so-called “artist” by the name of Thomas Kinkade will be spending the better part of a fortnight in a California jail cell for a DUI arrest back in June has filled that black, empty void of mine, where a heart once resided, with joy. Dare I say it has even filled that black, empty void of mine where a heart once resided with “Light?”

Between cries of hoodwinking on behalf of his former investors, using his pompous “born-again Christian” status in order to promote his career (‘cuz that’s what Christians do, right?), and the many accusations that a majority of his work may not even be from his own hand—to say nothing about the fact his art just plain sucks—the self-proclaimed “Painter Of Light” (cough) has been a real eye-twitcher for many throughout the years. Earlier this year, Kinkade was busted by the five-o in Carmel, California when an officer pulled him over for not having a front license plate.

As it turned out, Kinkade had been finding inspiration for another painting of the Holy Spirit by imbibing the holy spirits themselves: he was showing “signs of impairment.” Apparently, the source of “Light” with which Mr. Kinkade had been attempting to infiltrate Walmart stores, flea markets, and Motel 6 rooms across the nation all of these years had been emanating from the bottom of the bottle. Although Kinkade’s blood-alcohol level was not released by the CHP to the public, it was reported by prosecutors to be “more than double the legal limit.”

Originally, Kinkade had entered a plea of “not guilty.” However, his lawyers changed it to “no contest” on Friday (Kinkade was not present, although it is reported that Jesus of Nazareth was there—in spirit, at least). To whit, the artiste will serve a 10-day jail sentence, attend an entire nine-month DUI offender program (which he’ll probably outsource to a few struggling young artists in exchange for to-be-broken promises), and pay a whopping $1,846 fine. He is also ordered to serve five years of (informal) court probation for his violation.

I trust you will all join me in wishing Mr. Thomas Kinkade a “Merry fucking Christmas,” indeed (although he’s getting off way too “Light” if you ask me).

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About Luigi Bastardo

Luigi Bastardo is the disgruntled alter-ego of a thirtysomething lad from Northern California who has watched so many weird movies since the tender age of 3 that a conventional life is out of the question. He currently lives in Chico, CA with four cats named Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Margaret. Seriously.
  • Jordan Richardson

    My Christmas wish came true this year. Awesome!

  • Jordan Richardson

    From the sounds of things, it’s just good news that he didn’t grope anyone or pee on a Disney character.

  • Pam

    Criticizing Kinkade is more than valid. He deserves it for being such a hypocrite. But I find the picture of a beer bottle with Jesus and saying “He was there in spirit” an offensive stab at humor. This is mocking the belief of many people who do not use Christianity as Kinkade does but are sincere believers.

  • Richard

    It seems the author’s ‘yuletide joy’ comes from taking an opportunity to bash and belittle Christians. If somebody with a personal view of a given religion wishes to express it in public writing, they should be honest enough to simply write an article detailing their views rather than sneak their opinions into unrelated news articles.

  • Mike

    Seeing anyone getting a DUI hypocrite or not is no laughing matter, because Kinkade could’ve killed someone while driving drunk, and it is not funny to see someone’s life go this direction, after seeing what it did to my childhood, when members of my own family got in this condition. Your delight in ridiculing a hypocrite makes you no better. But hopefully Kinkade won’t be driving drunk anymore, and may he get the punishment we all would get.

  • Jordan Richardson

    What a bunch of humourless, finger-wagging ninnies.

  • zingzing

    i don’t think kinkade is really a christian, “pam,” “richard” and “mike.” he’s making suckers out of christians and that’s not a very christian thing to do.

  • zingzing

    i love this bit from the article jordan linked, when kinkade is speaking about the groping incident: “But you’ve got to remember,” he said, “I’m the idol to these women who are there.” In the recent arbitration case, he also testified that he had never claimed to be perfect.

    that last sentence is onion-worthy.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/an roger nowosielski

    “to whit” – third sentence, fourth paragraph.

    Come on, editors, this is but a X-mas postcard.

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/dr-dreadful/ Dr Dreadful

    My father-in-law wants a Kinkade Christmas tree for Christmas. We’ve been trying very hard to forget that that’s what he asked for.

  • Cannonshop

    Travel around, get hammered, and preach a word-sounds Christian to me… After all, it’s just a religion founded by a carpenter and his drinking buddies.

  • http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/thomas-kinkade-goes-to-jail-is/ donb

    look just because someone is a christian dosn’t mean there perfect….It means their FORGIVEN

  • Carol

    Interesting that above this comment box it says, “Personal attacks are NOT allowed.” Mr. Kinkade is not duping Christians, or twisting anyone’s arm to buy his art. Irregardless of whether or not you “like” his art he’s still an artist. He’s not my favorite either. And yes, it’s unfortunate when well known people make mistakes, especially if they are Christians. On behalf of Mr. Kinkade and all Chrisitans, I apologize for all the Christians who have made mistakes, or perhaps not represented their God the way they should… There was only one perfect person to walk this earth, His name was and is Jesus. “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” (John 8:7)

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/dr-dreadful/ Dr Dreadful

    We get this identical complaint on a regular basis about one article or another. Carol, allow me to explain.

    The “no personal attacks” policy refers to attacks against other users of Blogcritics – writers and commenters – not against public figures, which Mr Kinkade is.

    Perhaps it might assist you to consider the following analogy. If your local newspaper were to publish an editorial calling President Obama’s economic policies idiotic, that would not be libel. If, on the other hand, they were to publish one calling you an idiot, then that would be.

    The same distinction applies here.

    Dr Dreadful
    Blogcritics Assistant Comments Editor

  • Carol

    Thank you for the explanation Dr. Dreadful. But it still seems odd that it’s ok to bash public figures, and yet it’s not acceptable to make personal attacks against other users making comments…. Not that I’m condoning either one. Why is it that our society revels in the mistakes of others? Is it because it makes them feel that they’re “ok” or “not that bad?” We need to raise the bar in this country and bring back the unique concept of “kindness.” Don’t you think?

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/dr-dreadful/ Dr Dreadful

    Carol, it is indeed a strange paradox that we feel it’s OK to call politicians, or other public figures we don’t like, idiots, but we wouldn’t dream of calling a friend that to her face just because she has an opinion you disagree with.

    There is indeed a level of civility that’s lacking in American life, and the tragic thing here is that it’s personality-based for the most part. On the other hand, I think it’s absolutely right and proper that we should give politicians a hard time. I’m British myself, and you won’t find the same thing where I come from – although things aren’t different in the way you might expect.

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