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Things I shouldn’t say

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As usual, the Onion is an equal opportunity destroyer. Last week the “STATshot” feature listed the “Top Anti-War Slogans,” including “I Support My Activist Girlfriend” (yep, I’ve seen that guy marching, and I don’t blame him–she was hot) and “The People, United, Will Usually Be Defeated.”

This week, guest editorialist Ellen Dunst writes that “I Should Not Be Allowed To Say The Following Things About America”:

As Americans, we have a right to question our government and its actions. However, while there is a time to criticize, there is also a time to follow in complacent silence. And that time is now.

It’s one thing to question our leaders in the days leading up to a war. But it is another thing entirely to do it during a war. Once the blood of young men starts to spill, it is our duty as citizens not to challenge those responsible for spilling that blood. We must remove the boxing gloves and put on the kid gloves. That is why, in this moment of crisis, I should not be allowed to say the following things about America:

Why do we purport to be fighting in the name of liberating the Iraqi people when we have no interest in violations of human rights — as evidenced by our habit of looking the other way when they occur in China, Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, Syria, Burma, Libya, and countless other countries? Why, of all the brutal regimes that regularly violate human rights, do we only intervene militarily in Iraq? Because the violation of human rights is not our true interest here. We just say it is as a convenient means of manipulating world opinion and making our cause seem more just.

That is exactly the sort of thing I should not say right now.

Read more.

The satire comparison here follows the general trend: Satire of the anti-war camp tends to poke fun at the more extreme or silly elements of the movement, while satire of the pro-war side tends to lay bare the lies that are at the very heart of this ugly act.

But, I guess you can only work with what you’ve got.

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About Brian Flemming