This week on the Treehouse Fort, we talk NBA, iPad sports potential, and coyotes with jet packs.
Tuffy: LeBron James, whose season ended this week in a 4-2 series loss to Boston, has been recommended to sign as a free agent with so many destinations, that his new agent is Carmen Sandiego.
Suss: When asked if he will play next year, Shaquille O’Neal said he wants to. In fact, he says he wants to play three more years until he’s 41 years old. Per his agent, any three-year deals offered to him by NBA teams will require throwing in a custom-built Hoveround for any potential overtime games.
Tuffy: Lakers coach Phil Jackson returned to his Zen mind tricks this week, using the inordinate amount of time off before the NBA Western Conference Finals to hint loudly that Suns guard Steve Nash regularly carries the ball. Nash took the bait jokingly, suggesting the best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn’t seem to mind. Nash did not follow up by noting that he hasn’t been carrying the ball nearly as long as Tex Winter carried Phil in Chicago.
Suss: Giants catcher Bengie Molina said recently that he was upset at ESPN for “humiliating” him when mocking his slow baserunning during a highlight in which he was thrown out at home. When reached for comment, manager Bruce Bochy said they’re going to try everything to improve his speed, including having him not wear the catcher’s gear while running the bases.
Tuffy: A programming note: we will be re-voting on last week’s “What Were They Thinking?” champion after discovering the winner may have intentionally watched a Wipeout marathon on ABC before committing their idiotic act.
Suss: And finally, after a 20-year run, Law & Order was canceled by NBC. A heartbroken Ken Griffey, Jr. said he will have to find another show to help him fall asleep.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
Boston mayor Thomas “Mumbles” Menino, who in a speech mentioned Jason Varitek “splitting the uprights” in a list of great Boston sports moments
22-year-old Jerry Joseph, a.k.a. Guerdwich Montimere, who pretended to be a 16-year-old high school basketball player
Stanford women’s basketball player JJ Hones, who was dismissed from the team after being arrested for a golf cart DUI
Notre Dame women’s golfer Annie Brophy, who was kicked out of the NCAA Regionals for faking her golf score
England’s World Cup chairman David Triesman, who resigned after accusing 2018 bid rivals Spain and Russia of bribery.
Miami sports station WQAM-AM, who said in a promo commercial, “You could listen to the other sports station, but you may turn gay”
High school softball coach Anneliesse Neitling, who forced her players that struck out to drink soda pop out of a shoe Powered by Sidelines